When i'm gone

Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...


Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around on that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...


And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back...


I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...


And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back...


Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..


And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain
Just smile back...




DATE:31 DEC 20005
TIME:12.49AM

christmas

dis christmas, i was stuffed lyk a turkey. my gosh.i ate so much dat my gastric hurts man. although i had lots of fun, it wasn't all dat dandy. everything was a mad rush..from buying presents to attending svc and parties.cuz it's sch term dis december and we've been piled with submissions and holiday assignments.ASS-ignments!

so i finally had enough slp today.and i'm gona just rest at home and slowly do my holiday work...

....and i have finally changed my taggy.so ppl can tag again.if not the previous taggy was just shit.dats y my blog has been so quiet and dead.but nvm now it's gona come back to life again.

after ten days of confinement in his camp, he came back with a shaved head (muahahaha =X ). it was gd to spend the holiday with him and his family.his dad oso came back from macau to celebrate with us. i didn't bring out my camera cuz i was basically lazy to take pics.budden i did take some pics in my phone..though all of them are dark and not dat nice.

lalala...one week after christmas and it's new year.ta-da! time to set goals and resolutions again? muahahaha..~ we'll see.dis past year has just zoomed by lyk a flash.lazy to recap dis whole year now.i shall save the recap of 2005 in the next entry.

right so now let's have some picture-time.


b4 he went back to camp last nite.


his bag. muahahaha.

oh yeh.and since he's back in camp,his O2 mini is MMIIIINNNEEE~~~~~ muahahahaha~~



LALALALALAA!~~~


lastly,my policeman XD XD



DATE:27122005
TIME:1.50PM

levitation

dis is the day i have achieved the art of levitation.



DATE:22 dec 2005
TIME:2.01am

di da di da di di doo doo di da di di doo~

lalala.right now am in typography class.today we're learning abt logotypes and eventually we have to come up with our own logotype.bleh.typo's kinda boring.so i decided to put a new entry in my soon gona b rusty blog.

past few weeks have been busy busy busy busy busy.but im actually rather happy with myself dis week cuz i managed to chiong finish my work in time..unlike last week where everything is just rush rush rush.rush too much will die de.i almost died.

so 2 days back i went st andrew's cathedral with mave jj yeeling and dong ni to take pics for my photography assignment.after dat we went esplanade where we saw ashley dancing at the big space at the mrt.woo! nice to see her afer some time.by the way esplanade's now putting up an interstingly hilarious work..visual arts or something lyk dat.the videos kept us entertained for quite awhile.oh yeh and the rooftop garden is soooooooooooo full of couples...felt lyk i was some paparazzi armed with a camera when i went up there to take pics.muahaha.and guess wad.my camera was cursed enough to run outta batt at the point when there are many things to capture.BLEH.i was only left with 10 pics more to take! so in the end i had to go home and take stupid pics of my dog and my dads pet birds.:S

right.everyone's paying attention in class.i guess i better end here.

DATE:15 dec 2005
TIME:12.43pm

dis world is such a cruel place.there is no space or time to let ppl reflect.everyone's busy and wrapped up in their stuff to care abt the little things ard them..which sadly,are the things dat really matter.business makes us overlook so many things and make misunderstandings become such a common thing in life.xin is right.humans are such funny beings.not only funny,but complicated too.nobody is ever easy to understand because we are so much our own unique selves.i'm already numbed inside out.i can't feel much anymore.cuz im used to it.and there's nth i can do.

my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't whole to start with.

DATE:4th DEC 2005
TIME: 2.08pm

hi to all faithful readers! so sorry for all these long absences and short meaningless entries.i shall temporarily stop blogging here for the time being.

if u still wana read abt my happenings,contact me directly for the new blog add. :D love ya all.

photography

next friday we'll b going little india to take photographs for photography lesson!! yyYyyaaaayyYyyY~

sheesh

ok in sch blogging again...so pai seh just now!! i BARGED into the wrong com lab..omg omg omg..and everyone stared at me ..omg i felt so stupid!!!!!!! AAAHH....lucky the lecturer busy taking attendence and didnt notice me if not it would b even more pai seh!!!! aaargh....a bad start in sch today....

later having creative story telling class.dat lecturer always ask me to ans qn..just bcuz my register is number 7 and she lyk the number 7..last week in class dono called how many times by her le.grrr.....help me.

woo woo woo~~ dis period's a period of creativity in the air...it's design fest 05~ woo.RESFEST05 oso coming to NAFA...but dat one have to pay quite a sum la.would love to go though.lots of nice works gona b displayed.

am feeling kinda low now...i already humbled myself to the point of nth le..yet i dun think it will make any difference.haiz...

crash

in com lab now.crashing class at the moment (along with maveric)cuz the next lesson (jap lecture) is at 6.nth to do so crash into friend's class to spend the time.on my right is a wall..on my left is maveric hu keep making me laugh lyk mad.

dis morning's jap tutorial was fun.we learnt alot of words and simple common ways of communication.later jap lecture.i hope it wun b boring.last week's jap lecture was so boring....

passed $12 to yee ling to ask her help me buy idN magazine at kinokuniya.ytd went borders to look for it but dey dun seem to have it there..so made a wasted trip.hopefull dey have it at kinokuniya la.haha....btw idN is a desin magazine from hong kong.

ok ok ...dey are having photoshop lesson now.not bad.i crashed into the correct class...can learn photoshop.lolz.the lecturer said dat me and maveric must remain invinsible so we are keeping as quiet as we can. XD

back later~

yoohooo

blogging in com lab now....it's nice to finally have a classroom lab where u can go hang out and surf com after sch le.no need to intrude into other ppl's lab le~~ wee....

project1 today was boring as usual.grp discussion,presentation..bla bla...project 1 is all abt stuff lyk dat.so suey...must kena project 1 on a monday morning.grr.my assingments more or less finish le la.tmr can hand in my ideation then one assignment down le.woo...left typography assignment.dat one oso more or less gona finish le.wana finish all my assignments asap so dat i can have more time to play.im still in holiday mood.

k i gtg le.stay tuned~

school

first week of sch was alright.modules are:

Project 1
Ideation 2
Digital Media Fundamentals
Typography
Creative Story-telling
Fundamentals of Digital Photography

and not forgetting my CDS,Jap.

sch so far has been rather fun..meeting up friends and hanging out at the studio again was good. :D

jap class was interesting.the teacher kept asking us quesions in jap and we had to ans back in jap.lolz.well...the boring stuffs were project 1 and typography la.i think it's so not exciting.other than dat,the rest of the lessons were cool.oh yes and not to mention another cursed thing...my timetable for dis sem is cursed...end late almost everyday...and no free days...last sem was more slack.grr.

time really flies.my aunt has passed away for a month already.am still missing her of cuz...tmr's the 49th day of her departure from dis world.it still feels kinda empty without her ard.lyk something missing..an empty slot in my life.

of cuz things change as well...changes are the only constant thing in life..friends say im more noisy compared to last sem.lolz~ and oso..change of classmates.argh.dats one of the sad thing in poly.u dun have a fixed class.everyone's mixed abt lyk maggie mee.gota get used to it la~...

year's ending...christmas is coming. XD! everyone's gona b one year older again.oh yeh i quit teaching dat lady already.so...say hello to poverty.must scrimp and save twice as hard as b4.

dats all for now la.sorry for boring entries nowadays.life's not on the high end at the moment.so stay tuned.

schooll

sigh.....

C

You tend to notice the big things in life... But the details aren't exactly your forte

How Observant Are You?

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

yo

back after missing from blogging....been busy with dance rehearsals lately for a performance dis coming sat on 5th nov...Clean and Green week public performance.at bedok reservoir.today is the full dress rehearsal at bedok reservoir..it's super freaking hot and i felt so dizzy.aye.we're gona dance to Hollaback Girl..im so sian of the song already.used to lyk it alot...but ever since practising for dis song and listening to it for infinity times...i wana puke whenever i hear it.

last sat was cell bbq at the ro sister's condo...was fun..went swimming...ate one chicken one hotdog and a plate of noodles and LOTS of marshmallows.i wana puke le.sugar rush.

sch's gona start on monday...i wonder if i'll still b able to have such fun once sch starts.i doubt so.most likely,my fun will b trillions of lightyears away...and my slpless nites will b my best friends once more.aye.say hi to eyebags,pimples,cellulite....im so not looking forward to having my slp snatched away.help.i tot rotting was uncool..until now,when i think of tiredness and frustrations of sch work,i changed my mind.rotting is indeed the cooless thing u can ever do on earth.why? cuz u are in TOTAL CONTROL OF URSELF.

just some theory i tot of while rotting...

stupid things aside,i wana go on a holiday.seriously.im so sick of singapore.everywhere u go,it's the same places over and over again.unless u mean to say u are out taking photos of tourist attractions.dat would b cool.but overall,it's still boring compared to having a little adventure in a foreign land.i've discovered dat i'm starting to have a little interest in traveling.i wana go back packing,climb mountains,swim in lakes and waterfalls,visit national parks...the only time i can absorb myself to such places is when im reading national geographic.lol.(i noe it sounds boring to most of u but national geographic is the coolest thing u can ever read..in my opinion.cuz u can read so much abt the world.)

anyway,my family's going malacca in december and perth in march.omg..i seriously cannot wait to get myself outta singapore.i need to take a breather.im frustrated with things going on here.i need a break from everything here.my 4th aunt's supposed to bring me to batam dis weekend but due to my dance performance,i have to postpone my batam trip to a later date.meanwhile im planning to go JB for a shopping trip.my family's actually planning to go hong kong dis month but due to my 3rd aunt's death,we can't go.

lots of travelling plans going on.i'm so excited.(^-^)

1. what are you doing? dis thingy..wad else..

2. what were you doin before? sleeping

3. who are you thinking ? dat someone special

4. what time did you sleep last night? i dono...i feel aslp..

5. what did you do yesterday? meet someone.go bs.

6. what did you last say to a friend? "dat is nth compared to interest"

7. what attracts u to the opposite sex?
the day he carries himself

8. what makes you happy? good company of loved ones

9.what are you wearing right now? red t-shirt mummy bought 7 yrs ago and my pri sch shorts.lolz.

10. what will you do after answering this? eat up my computer.

11. who was the last person you talked to?
avril

12 what do you want to tell ur crush? i got no crush

13. when is your birthday? ha~ y should i let u noe.

14. what you wanna get for your birthday?
company of loved ones will do.

15. when did you last cried? yesterday...when i tot of my aunty..

16. when did you last smile? few minutes ago

17. why are u answering these questions?
to keep my blog going i guess.

18. when will you marry? 22 or 23 i guess.

19. when did u last receive a gift? 2 days ago

20. when did you last drink alcoholic? sometime last month

21. who will you vote for president? me.lol.

22. who was the last person you talked about?
erm...my niece.

23. who makes you happy? my loved ones.

24. who has the cutest smile you've ever seen?
dat special someone

25. who do you talk on d phone with often? dat special someone

26. do you take drugs? currently on panadol menstrual.lol.

27. are you a shopaholic? given the cash,yes.

28. do you have someone in mind that you wish to
get married with? hehe.rabbit.rabbit.rabbit.

29. do you like swimming? no.

30. do you wear eye contacts? yeh.

31. do you kiss your parents good night? nope.just say good nite.

32. does your bf/gf often send you messages in
friendster? nope.

33. how about in e-mail? when he's abroad,yes.

34. hair colour? a little brownish reddish i think.

35. hair style? layer.mid length.

36. feeling right now? just alright.

37. what makes u feel like that? hmm...cuz nth special's on i guess.

38.how do you treat your loved ones? i buy them food,buy them special gifts on special occasions,i spend time with them and help them in any way i can.basically,i dun ever wana take them for granted.they're wonderful ppl in my life.

39 Do u like the weather today? yup.cooling.

40. what r u wishing now? dat my pimples will somehow vanish in the next second.

hmm

sch'e reopening in another one week plus time...i dun wana go back i dun wana go back i dun wana go back! i'm only just starting to enjoy my holidays!

1.Do you like to talk alot? - when i'm happy,yes

2.Do you like anyone? - define dis question.

3.Do you hate being scolded? - no.cuz ppl care for me dats y dey scold me.if not,i dun think dey can b bothered abt me.

4.Do you hate school? - nope.sch rox.

5.Do you hate yourself? - sometimes

6.Do you find yourself pretty? - not really.

8.Do you want to smoke or drink? - i wan to drink orange juice

9.Do you like your teachers? - some..

10.Do you have a handphone? - yup

11.Do you take Drugs? - nope.

13.Do you like going to the movies? - yes.

14.Do you have a pet? - yes.my darling dog.

15.Do you prefer calling? or sms ? - both will do.

16.Do you eat every morning? - no.it depends on wad time i wake up.

17.Do you go on net everyday? - yup.

18.Do you want to cry now? - a little

19. What are you doing now? - dis thingy

20. What are you thinking now? - nth much

21. What are you listening to now? - All About You

22. Last person message to you? - chris

23. Last time you got lonely? - now

24. Last time someone makes you happy? - several ppl.

25. Are you angry at someone? - nope.

26. Guitar or Drum? - both will do.

27. Beer or Milk? - neither

28. Gay or Lesbian? - neither

29. Do you like bi sexual? - im fine with them

30. Do you love the people who make you
happy ? - yup definitely.

31. Do you believe in those people? - yes

32. What is your target for this year? - appreciate the little things in life

34. Do you rather shop alone or with people? -
depends on my mood

35. Who do you hate now? - nobody

36. Who are your best friends? - haha.several of them~

37. Who are you missing now? - my aunty.

38. How are you feeling now? - kinda blank.

1. last person u wrote a testimonial?
- teng hong

2. sport you did last?
- walk lo.lolz.

3. last movie you watched?
- red shoes.irritating movie.

4. what do people first notice when they meet
you?
- im not sure...

5. do you like peanut-butter?
- yup.the one with the crunchy bits. (^-^)

6. do you read comics?
- yup

7. how pretty/handsome is your crush?
- no.

8. do you like earthquakes?
- no.it's sad.

9. worst nightmare?
- lots of 'em

10. favorite coffee place?
- starbucks

11. wanna be happy?
- i wana b very happy

12. your current school close friends?
- yup :>

13. most people would describe me as:
- nonsensical i guess

14. things you hate about yourself? :
- almost everything.

15. vegetable you hate?
- none.dey all are good.

16. do you like to go out on a shopping trip?
- of cuz.retail therapy rox.

17. favorite person in the world?
- no favourites..i love everyone the same.. :D

18. can you dance?
- erm.refer to previous survey.

19. favourite past time?
- daydream

20. Are you happy?
- kinda.

21. what is the worst rumour you've heard?
- some scandalous stuff

22. what time is it now?
- 12.54am

23. first thing you do when you wake up?
- snooze

24. where are you right now?
- in front of the com. XD

25. what are the things you like to do alone?
- read,daydream,think of things,draw my tots

26. how are you feeling now?
- lonely

27. how many drinks before you get really
drunk?
- no idea.depends on the alcohol content.

28. what can you say about the person who
sent
this to you?
- has a bright smile.

29. what is love to you?
- love is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

30. are u missing someone?
- yes.