haiz

why...why why? why must u always do dis? wad is there so difficult dat it cannot b said out? y must u resort to doing dis? do u think it's worth it? do u think it'll make everyone happier? dun u think it's selfish? dun u think it's being cowardly? haiz...maybe i shouldn't say much since i used to be lyk dat as well....haiz well nvm...sometimes even me myself feel lyk resorting to dis...im not even strong enough myself..so maybe i shouldn't say anymore...

i got back my 2D results for my first assignment.sigh.i'm prepared to get back even more worse results.i'm being pessimistic again...but i noe my standards already.dey are nothing.i knew right from the start my works are nothing.i kinda expected bad results already.it turned out to b true.i knew it.

*smile and wave~* lolz.madness again.

perhaps it's best to stay in madness so i can forget all abt my negativity.

assignments

ComDI-descriptive essay,narrative essay,shoebox

Ideation-character design,colour

2D-earthscape

JANICE!! JIA YOU!!!

lolz...not bad not bad.i am still surviving..lalala..... XD

i still have to type out project report for C&E..mm...my brain's functioning real slow now cuz i have gone for almost a day without food....omg there were so many temptations along the way! just now went out with hui xin..we went bugis..omg so much food! me and xin were resisting the temptation to buy and eat..omg..then we realise dat singapore really is a food paradise cuz everywhere u go is food food food and more food! just dat everyday eating has become a normal thing so we dun realise dat singapore basically sells food everywhere...it's onyl when u go without food for day and stopping urself from buying food then u will realise singapore indeed sells food EVERYWHERE! lolz...nice discovery.

argh...brain! work faster!

i realise dat nowadays i dun really have much to blog abt...dono y...feelings are getting more and more difficult to express...even here on blogs...in the past feelings were ok to express on blogs.but now..even here i dun even have the confidence to display my feelings openly.whimp me.argh wadever.

sometimes i wonder if keeping them to myself is better...i dono.

perhaps i shall blog again later...when i have tot of things to write? lol...madness me.

*flies off*

slacker

just came back not long ago from sch...turned down 2 invites for a movie all cuz i need to take care fo my niece for tonite.... (-_- )..bleahz!~

well..i went back to sec sch to collect my o level cert and i got a pleasant surprise seeing all our o level canvas pieces up on display! hehe.. XD and of cuz i'm happy to see my canvas there too! i miss my canvas! all the tears and sweat and sleepless nights put into it...and now dat it's finally back...i MISS IT SO MUCH! couldn't help taking pics with it..lolz...and i was also happy to see my friends' canvases too...it just brings back memories of staying back in the art room after sch...smuggling food up to snack while we paint our canvas...making alot of noise in the art room..wasting the acrylic paints...wakhakha....haiz...memories memories....after all the sweat and sleepless nights,seeing our canvas up on display lyk dat,i know with it is all worth it (^-^) i'd love to go through dat again.it has been fun!

here are the pics i took...


Kalijah's!



Sa'idah's!



Lester's!


Alan's!



Kai Min's!



Khairiana's!



Wei Ling's!

and some here by the sec 3 syf team, NA5 and NA4 of 2004...























and dis is the top student for 2003..



and finally... mine~~ XD







hehehe....yay...so happy! XD

geezz

geeeezz....wad a weak attempt to modify dis skin...lolz..plain huh.bleah..nvm...neverthelss wana thank mr chew jing jie for planting dis idea into my head. XD

i dun wana turn into a bummer.must discipline myself le ar.... (-_- )

righto....write in later..

*Happy 29th month anniversary*

lalala

hahhahaha...........wheee...rollercoasters are thrilling!!! haha...just blow my head off will ya?! wakhkaa...

initial d

INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX!!!!!


aaaargh...dat show is full of eye-candy!!! XD XD wkahkaha....cannot take it le! so style so manly! hah... XD XD


went to watch it with zx...so long nvr see her! it's great to meet up with her again after such a long time...as usual we have so many things to say.lolz.and so many funny stuff we met along the way again.hahaa...next big gathering would b her bday! XD


i bought a top today.can't resist the temptation to buy dat top.it's simply so nice.so i HAD to buy it no matter wad.lolz....


man i went to sch today for nothing...well today my lecture starts at 9am but i woke up at 12..so i skipped dat lecture..and went to sch for the 3pm class..met up with leon,ben and jasper for lunch...then my friend called and said class is cancelled!! :S i went to sch for nothing!! bleah.so i called zx and we decided to meet earlier and watch earlier show.wkhakaha....


submission of 3D portfolio tmr....gona do le! XD

*flies*

bottle

i guess i shall keep them in a bottle...

what's ur problem...

i dun lyk it when things are lyk dat.well..nvm abt it....


anyway...CnE project deadline extended!!! ooooh~ basking in happiness right now~~~ yay yay yay! haha....lalala.....


sch was ok today....done arylic painting....next week gona do pastel drawing.FINALLY FINALLY!! no more paintbrushes and water spilling here and there....FINALLY we are using dry medium...wahahaha.... XD dun lyk painting.so messy.dun lyk watercolour especially!!! boo.


hmm...i hope friendships wun b affected...dun wana lose the fun we had.dun wana become lyk strangers towards each other....


alright...dats all.lalala~~ lallaa~ stay tuned!

haiz

alright.i've had enough.gime a break yeh.i'm a human.i have a life too.stop giving me such high expectations and EXPECT me to FULFILL it! come on...even though no matter how well i do,u will NEVER b happy! NEVER.all my life,my awards my achievements,my medals and trophies...have u ever taken pride in knowing i'm capable in doing all these? NO! all u do is just say "dats not good enough,dats not good enough" oh come on! i've had enough of ur dumb limitless expectations.i'm gona break free from them.from now on i will NEVER EVER do anymore things to TRY to PLEASE u cuz all dis 17 years i've come to accept dat i can NEVER please u! all dis years i've realised i'm just a dumb trying to fulfill the expectations u have on me! i have never had the chance to express wad i want.NEVER!but from now i shall just do WAD PLEASES ME! NOT wad please u! cuz,again,i can NEVER seem to please u! i can't even study wad i wana study.and now i'm studying wad i love so study,u condemn me saing wad i'm studying gives me no future,no hope.oh man,i shall just prove u wrong.SO wrong! if u bring me into dis world only to b unsatisfied with me all the time,then y bother to even keep me,to raise me? might as well just give me away or have another child and let THEM fulfill ur bloody expectations.omg u manipulate ur children to wad u wan them to b.u nvr give ur children a chance to express their true personality.thanks! i've REALLY had enough! shut up with all those dumb expectations and i dun care if i'm rude here or wad.i've SIMPLY had enough! I AM NOT PERFECT! so STOP trying to manipulate me to perfection! i can't take it!


enough of all dis.


anyway today was a really bad day.stupid me bashed my head against the edge of a glass.it hurts it hurts! it's a wonder i didn't faint.i'm not exagerrating.u wana try the feeling of having ur head bashed against the edge of a glass? i'll b glad to help. XD lol.


had trp outing today.leon going off to ns.everyone's going off to ns!! boo! not fun anymore.


so we played games...and TABOO! haha..TABOO was fun....always loved it.


haiz.some ppl are hard to trust.thank God.i can count on H.S to help me.to guide me and whisper words of caution to me.to deliver me out of trouble.He who is with me is more than he who is in the world.i shall not b affected.i can b soft and big hearted.but i'm not weak.i m stronger than u think.

Captian planet-the power is yours!

Captain Planet

(Weaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh)

Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!
Gooooooooooo Planet!
By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

Captain Planet, he's a hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side

Captain Planet, he's a hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
Gonna help him put us under
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

You'll pay for this Captain Planet!

We're the Planeteers, you can be one too
Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do
Looting and Polluting is not the way.
Here comes Captain Planet to the save day!

Captain Planet cares about trees.
Gonna save some endangered species.
Once he saw a guy step on a flower
Then the guy was dead cause Captain's got power.

Captain Planet loves the birdies
He cleans the world that you make dirty
He's a cool dude; his hair is green
And he's fighting on the planets side.

I'll kill you Captain Planet!

We're the Planeteers, you can be one too
Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do
Looting and Polluting is not the way.
Hear what Captain Planet has to say

The Power is yours!

(Weaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh)

haiz

went for dance audition today.brother ryan was the dance intructor XD haha...he's humorous.lots of funny comments while teaching us the dance steps.


argh i dun wana grow fat.i dun wan i dun wan.i dun wana gain weight oso.i'm satisfied with my weight now.


went for lunch with xin after the dance audition today.yucky lunch.we felt lyk we were eating food meant for the sick.it was so bland our taste buds were struggling to taste the food. :S


haiz.i need financial blessing.right now even a decent meal oso cannot afford.haiz haiz haiz.just kill me ba.if not i might as well just starve to death.haiz.might as well walk to sch and walk home.no money for traveling expenses.haiz haiz.might as well b a hermit.hibernate all my life.haiz.just kill me la.

irritated

next time i shall make sure my kids are well behaved and civilised.went to watch madagascar today and the whole cinema is packed with kids.not dat i dun lyk them.but most of them are..sad to say...super duper irritating.angry dat parents nowadays dun teach their kids cinema ettiquete.inconsiderate ppl.tsk.i was so irritated i SSSSSHHHH very loud at one of the parent and her kid.so irritating lo.if can i would have already tied the kid to her chair and tape masking tape onto her irritating mouth. :S i'll really make sure i will groom my kids to b civilised ppl next time.really.


anyway the show was hilarious but i still think finding nemo is the best of the best.hahaa.


today dun have lessons but i went back to school to do paper-making.have to make a total of 6 papers (or more) to hand in on friday 3D art fundamentals.brought glitter to decorate my papers.managed to do only 4 so far.2 more to go.tmr shall continue the 2 more during my lunch break.


man.i have a total of 3 assignments to redo


1.colour wheel

2.colour texture

3.ideation


say hello to slpless nites.wkahakhaa.


anyway...few days ago i went to design sch canteen to drink my beloved milo...was happily drinking and drinking.i finished the whole cup and was contented...until i looked at the bottom of the cup and my contentment was turned to horror,shock,disbelieve,disgust and terror....


there was a drenched dead moth at the bottom of my milo cup......


hahaa...i just screamed and screamed at the dead moth.argh.worse thing...i STIRRED my milo when i was drinking it.argh.just shoot me.lol.


argh my samsung phone lcd spoil again!!!! warranty has expired.costs $210 to fix it! CRIES LOUDLY!! where in the world do i get the cash?!?! cries...


*flies away*

so blessed

im so blessed so blessed.haha...thanks to a great pal for his birthday gift and for the effort to get me one. (^-^)


been very blessed with alot of things...including all the wonderful ppl i met...enjoying every moment of my life now cuz i noe i'm not alone...unlike in the past... :)


been having heaps of assignments.i stayed up for 2 nites to finish an assignment...only to noe dat i've done it wrongly when i brought it to sch.lolz.argh...nvm i shall redo it...passion keeps my adrenaline pumping.haha.


hmm....basically very happy. =D thanks everyone. XD

alalllal

great day! XD went for service in the morning and had a great time.service was fanastic! met lots of trpians on sunday service.hehee...


then went town with cgm....took pics and then ate and just walk ard and have fun....i love the pics we took!! XD XD


uploaded some onto my photo webby.will upload the rest again cuz now very tired already!

wad to do?

i feel lyk giving up and letting go.cuz it's getting nowhere.no cooperation,no understanding,no compromising.im tired.im frustrated.i wana get out of dis maze.i wana find my way out again.i dono if styaing is better or leaving is better.i dono anything anymore.perhaps all dis are just carnal.not from above.perhaps we have fallen too deep and we have to climb back up a long long way.i dono wad to do to make it better.im frustrated.cuz nothing seems to go right.u totally dun get wad im trying to get across.i wana give up.im tired.

pigging day

had a pig day today...

woke up at 3.30pm..then met relativesand cousins go bowling and archery....omg im hooked on archery already.going back nest week end. XD

then went to my ahma house to pig out cuz it's one of my cousins' bday... XD really pig lifestyle today.

tsk.my samsung phone lcd spoil again.haiz.2nd time le.irritating.perhaps it's really time to get another phone....

im procrastinating from my assignments again....help.just shoot me ba.

in school

blogging in sch library now.gosh.i have 3 hour lunch break everday. -_-.gets really bored after sometime yeh noe.nothing much to do.

just had my lunch.had 3D art fundamentals just now and we learnt how to make paper.really interesting but a very wet activity.lol.well..so now i noe how to make paper.dun have to buy letterpads or wadever fanciful paper anymore sinc ei canmake them myself for free XD XD

gona have communicating design ideas lesson later.i kinda dread dat lesson cuz it's soo soo soooo boring.it's almost lyk english lesson. :S using wide vocabs and stuff.argh.every friday i dun look forward to dis lesson cuz it just puts me to slp. (-_- )zZ.

lala...dis computer is so laggy compared to mine. :S cannot blame la.school library is school library. XD

my hectic week is over.i'm glad i survived.next week onwards i hafta catch up and brush up on my work.especially my drawing essentials stuff.argh.the lecturer for drawing essentials is one hell of a weird man.sometimes i feel lyk slapping him.lol.

i wana take pics...take pics take pics...!! hu wana go take pics with me? the urge is back! it's been quite sometime since i have dis strong urge to take pics again.last time always everday taking pics on my phone.but dono y lost the passion for a period and now it's back! XD oooh!

supposed to meet my project mates at 1pm but now already 1.46pm.all of them are late.so...let me enjoy my moments online first.lol.

hmm....well i guess i shall blog again later tonite. stay tuned! XD

mixed feelings..

haven't been updating.am jammed pack dis week with sch work and youth conference.the youth conference was simply great great great. XD enjoyed every session of it!!

guess i'm back to slpless nites.lolz.and maybe i'm used to slping 3-4 hours a day ba.dono y....i dun wana end up looking lyk a panda though.argh.i should get more rest.

and i'm so financially tight! bad timing...y must i be financially tight when the singapore sale is on?!?!?! argh.really bad timing.lol.so many things i wana buy.so many things on my wishlist.but not enough cash to get them! :S

by the way i wana say a huge thank you to all the ppl hu remembered my birthday and all those sweet birthday greetings and songs. XD i really appreciated it! (^-^)

and hui xin,going out with u is always always one rockin adventure!

happy birthday

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeee
happy birthday to me

gone

when i looked into the mirror today,i can't find my reflection.


and then i realised....it's gone..

meaningless entry.

haven't eaten any meal today.dun feel lyk eating.dono y.maybe medicine's making me cranky.paranoid maybe.but wadever.


i dono y im blogging actually.just feel lyk typing out stuff...wadever stuff...maybe i just need to talk.yeh...i guess i just need to talk.not fully understood yet.but it's ok.i shall get on.cuz wadever it is,i dun give a hoot and it's not my business either.i noe im talking in riddles but...does it really matter? if it's meant to b deciphered,it will b deciphered.if not,then let it remain as a code.the funny thing abt human beings is dat we are all complicated creatures.takes a great deal of time to understand,to see.


we play guessing games all the time...but often our hypothesis is dead wrong.so..i dun believe in haunches.haunches only serve to damage and mislead the mind.but alot of ppl out there rely on haunches.when dey expect something to happen,dey think dat thing will really happen.but..expectations are nothing but just expectations.most of the time,dey dun lead us to the truth.dey only lead us to destruction.


perhaps u are playing guessing games now.trying to guess wads the meaning behind wad seems to b a meaningless entry.not surprising.dis shows dat we care for each other i guess.or are we just curious? hehe.i guess it's a question to be considered with much effort.

so tired

im so tired....lots of things to do.i'd b super duper packed dis week.thank God..one more week to go..one more week! Gambatte!


i'm seriously sick now.i need healing!


sick and busy....wad more could i ask for? lol.


pos drawing near.come on everybody! let's EMERGE!

so busy...

my days are so packed so packed....haiz..nvm i keep telling myself dat one more week to go..one more week to go...after next week..after Emerge Conference,my schedule will b less tight and i can finally take a breather...endurance endurance!!


i'm not feeling well AGAIN.haiz...again and again...dis time,it's a bad bad sore throat....i dono if it's normal sore thorat or wad..cuz the pain goes all the way to the nose and my head...i'm suspecting it's a thorat infection.haiz..making me feel so sick and horrible.it's painful to swallow food,painful to cough,painful to swallow water..haiz...argh.i wana b healed!


assignmetns are getting heavier...and i must make a big decision...the decision is dis...:


in my year 2,i have to make a choice whether to stay in Interactive Media Design or go to Moving Images..cuz for dis 2 courses,the year one syllabus is the same.but in year 2 we have to branch out to dis two le.


Interactive Media Design involves stuff lyk cd-roms..dvd..interactive stuff in handphones and such....


Moving Images involves 2D/3D animtion,video production and audio production...


my main interest is animation.


the thing is...should i take interactive media design and take animation as an elective? or straight away go moving images and specialise in animation?


if i choose interactive media design,besides getting to take animation as an elective(which animation is wad i mainly want),at the same time i get to learn other multimedia stuff...(which i'm not as intersted as animations).


if i choose moving images,and when i specialise in animation,i will ONLY b learning animations and all my life i'd only b doing animations...(which animation is wad i really lyk).i wun get to learn other skills lyk in interactive media design.only solely animation.


in conclusion..interactive media design offers me a wider path in my future career as i can do advertising,animation,web design...bla bla...moving images offers me a narrow path in my future career as i can only b animator and design characters in games.


the thing is,i really lyk animation.so which one should i go???


should i go interactive media design and take animation as an elective..then specialise in animation in university...


or


go moving images and specialise in animation and then go university to further my animations studies?



please tag ur comments.i really need help in this area.

burned out

i'm burned out....rushing here and there almost everyday...it's totally inhuman...

someone just stab me to death la.