was at chrice's place and this glass photo frame dropped and fell onto my leg, slicing my skin open.
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and it was already 10++pm. i wanted to faint from seeing the blood but anyway...i rushed home to show mummy the wound and she said i had to get it stitched up and all i could do was cry because i refuse to get stitched up. it hurts like mad.
so..me mummy and chrice headed down to changi hospital A&E and i was told i had to wait for 3 hours! and it was already 12am..i had no choice but to go to this 24hour clinic near my place..
the clinic turned out to have really bad service, including the doc. the way he cleaned my wound, he might as well be scraping fish scales off a dead fish. he was happily pressing my wound hard with a gauze and scraping away with a tweezer, and the cleansing alcohol he used felt like my wound was being BURNED. well i felt like i was being skinned alive at the foot.
i couldn't even walk after that..but then, i didn't get my wound stitched up. like i said, i just refused to. so, the doc glued it up for me..with surgical glue of course. and he made such a huge mess out of it, making my wound bleed again, and my wound looked like some decomposing piece of meat.
sorry if this entry spoiled your appetite. just thought it would be a good start to update after such a long time. hehe.
but anyway...since stupid blogger cannot even do a cut post...i shall have to resort to this.
i have not been very happy lately. things must keep hitting me again and again. i am not happy because of a lot of issues. i am so weak and vulnerable. i try to stay strong but i will always stumble and fall, hard.
i am constantly struggling, wishing to be rescued but at the same time i keep building up all these walls around me. i wish someone could just come and just, save me out of this dark shell that i am trapped in, someone who can really see me inside and is understanding enough not to force me into recovery, but patient enough to help me recover.
i don't know who is real and who is not. i don't know who to believe and i am afraid. i don't know who is there to really harm me and who is there for real. since young i learn from the abusive environment which i grew up in, that the world is a dangerous place. a place where i will constantly be attacked. which explains why i am never strong enough to handle things on my own, because i am just too friggin scared, because i am just too used to getting negative outcomes,just too used to the beatings, the cuts and the hurting stuff thrown at me.
i am so tired of feeling like this but i have no strength to fight back anymore..
God, please, please help me.
i'm back training at the dojang.
(that's mr daniel sng!!)
home sweet home. good old days. :D i've missed out A LOT but, well, i just wana take things from where i left it and build it up.
i wana say thank you to all the people who wished me happy birthday. it was a blessed birthday..thank you to the special special one who made my day! kisses kisses.
more pictures to post up soon. it's time to get back to school work. maybe i shall contemplate moving to livejournal.
*and remember, remember,
tomorrow brings unexpected changes,
but our love, it'll still remain.
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