a love so pure..

definitely inseparable...

sweetness dat just melts my heart and gives me diabetes...(^-^)

*sigh*....so happy...happiness dat can't b described..

miserable me

y on earth are there such ppl? this ppl are wad i call the BMWs....wana noe wad it stands for? figure out the abbreviation urself. =P

conclusion for the day: i will nvr trust u anymore.

well,grudges aside.today is a happy day and i shall not let BMWs ruin the day.noe y it's happy? cuz it's me and chris's 22nd month together! wEeEEe~~ looking forward to celebrating our monthly anniversary in years to come! haha....

oh well..i've been resting at home for the whole day..so..dun really feel lyk slping already...heard from darling dat my samsung phone is ready for collection.woohoo~

oh well kinda miss my friends...wonder what they've been up to dis days...wana catch up with them soon..

.....

haiz...i am invinsible de...well just treat me as invinsible if u wana...i dun care anymore....obviously i think in ur eyes i am nothing...but u dono dat u are just simply very biased...haiz...nvm..i m invinsible...just take it that im not there....or perhaps it is time for me to find a place where i rightfully belong...a place where ppl can c me..and not c through me..

lalala~

yesterday i received a mail from republic poly..since i hardly get snail mails except occasionally from ahxian..so i was curious...wads more,the envelope was bulging..so it must not b the usual letter we got from snail mails...so i opened it...well ripped it actually...and guess wads inside...it's the lamest mail i've ever got..the FIRST time i've ever received such a HILARIOUSLY LAME mail.....

....REPUBLIC POLY SENT ME A PACKET OF TISSUE VIA SNAIL MAIL....

when my mum learned abt it she was laughing her head off...and chris was there..and he was laughing his head off..and i was just staring at it in disbelieve...a packet of tissue!!! and u noe wad it said on the packet? it said "Are You Game?" haha...yeh i sure am man...wad a hilarious joke...

well i painted my nails today..it was a big disaster...the result of using cheap nail polish..yeh..it is so cheap..it's quality is soooo bad...argh...so my nails look gross today..so must redo again...argh...

met with a grp of morons on my way to church...one of them purposely walked in front of me and blocked my path..so as to catch my attention...after dat he walked off and the whole grp of them lauged and laughed..lyk a pack of hyenas....then shouted dat they wan my number...and whistled...*rollz my eyes* haiz...y on earth are there such ppl....

lastly i wana thank darling for sending me home as usual every week after service..no matter whether rain or shine he'll nvr fail to wait for me by the curb...thanks dear! and sorry for troubling u everyweek...muakz..

i'm looking forward to the 28th! noe y? cuz it's our 22nd month anniversary! woooeee~~! he's bringing me to billy bombers! yay~ got sumptous meal to eat le! haha...hooray~ anyway i owe his mum a meal cuz i failed to attend her ordination service...the day she become a pastor...ehehe..or izit pastrous? wahaha...i dono la..yeh...

whua i got alot to talk abt leh...but now suddenly stuck for words..lol...well i guess i'll write in again..gota wash up then zzz~ nitez!

holidays~

holidays holidays...i dono y but i still cant accept the fact that i'm already having holidays...think i'm really really not used to having such a not-busy-free-to-do-anything kind of life...how how! i guess i'm used to multi-tasking everyday...lol...

haiz...guess wad...the tv's showing Days of Our Lives now...haha...i wonder when this show will ever officially end..it seems to be going on forever and ever...

i need a job~ my cash supply is running out~ argh!!! and it's not even one month yet! sobz!!!

oooh by the way i wana say a BIG BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY to shar!!! yay today is her bday~ haha...*hugz*...

still refuse to stop prying into his secrets....mic must have alot of delicious secrets...lol..*wink*

and smiling insanely again...

me smiling insanely....ha~ found something funny! caught u mic!

and im STILL intruding into his life...

still enjoying prying into his privacy...lol...

oi mic! nokia3310?!?! time to change your phone!

still prying into his private life...and enjoying it...lol..

looking into the contents of his hp...found alot of secrets wor!!! shh...

oooo~! dug out his hp from his pouch...

me inspecting mic's pouch...

mic boliao...took pic of me..lol..

smile! you'r on candid camera!

darling dye hair....haha~

albert einstein of the 21st century?!

mic~!! doing highlights to his hair...the aluminium foils are courtesy to me and chris..lol!

act sweet!

act cute!

ooo~ act cool..lol...

both of us on his mum's bed..haha~

me and chris darling~ me did ice rebonding..he got a hair cut..havent't dye hair though.haha~ nice??

ice rebonding~

hey hey!! o levels are OFFICIALLY over! woohoo~

yup yesterday was my last paper...and i went to do ice rebonding straight after dat...lol! ooo the ice rebonding was soooo cold..it felt lyk my scalp was freezing!!! haha..so now i got a new look...and i hope i can start my post-secondary school life as a new person again. =) an improved person.

after my hair makeover i went to meet ah xian..and we went to makan...after dat we went to tm cuz she wanted to buy bday presents for two of her friends.and guess wad.i met melvin! haa...so melvin's the first cgm to c my nre hairdo..lol...

then me and ah xian went to meet chris after his dnt paper ...which was at 4.30pm...then we waited for mic for ages..lol...wad took u so long huh mic! haha...then we went to an ooolooo shopping complex there cuz chris and mic wanted to have a haircut...the hairdresser is good despite his rundown looking shop in the ooolooo shopping complex...and the stupid ah xian...we walked and walked in the ooolooo complex till we finally spotted the escalators..and the stupid ah xian exclaimed "OOO~ they have escalators!! " wahahahhaa....wad kind of a statement is dat man! then we finally arrvied at the hairdresser...and chris wanted me to go buy the medicated plaster thingy for him cuz he's got stiff mucles in his arm...so me and ah xian went to parkway parade which is just opposite the ooolooo complex..and we saw a tcs actress...dono wads her name but anyway she very dao..lol..

then xian went off to meet her sis and mum go kbox..then me and chris and mic went for dinner at parkway...then went to watson's and bought gatsby hair dye...rusty ash...so we went back to chris place..and me and chris dyed mic's hair..after dat me and mic dye for chris..haha....fun~

headache..

man i got a headache for a whole day...a splitting headache..

by the way i'm currently readin The Da Vinci code by Dan Brown...it's such a wonderfuly interlligent masterpiece!!! ppl out there who haven't read it ,it is a MUST read ok! it's absolutely fantastic.beats harry potter man.and i tot harry potter was good!

hmmm

woke up at 8am yesterday morning...wanted to go jogging with him but it was drizzling so we decided to go for breakfast instead.so we went to cafe cartel...a delicious breakfast! we were so so full~

then we went walking ard...searching for salons to ask for the price of hair rebonding cuz i wana rebond my hair after my last paper tmr..hee! hmm after dat we went back to my place to get my stuff for cell then we went out again to go meet my friends...

today i woke up at one plus in the afternoon...wow i have nt slept lyk a pig for very long...actually i woke up at nine...and the first thing dat poped in my mind was "REVISE!!!" then i realised dat tmr is my last paper and i could still revise in the afternoon...so i went back to slp..haha...wow i guess i wun b able to get used to not being busy..haha...

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

Feeling real stiff

i'm feeling so stiff today!!! cuz me and him walked and walked and walked for very long yesterday....from cineleisure to suntec!!! argh! haha....

yesterday was a fun day...me and him went out to study..we went to the library at orchard..and i studied my poa and he studied amaths...after dat we got tired of studying..so we decided to go for a walk and catch something to eat...then we walked to somerset and ate old chang kee..whua so nice! haha...after dat we went into heeren cuz we wanted to go to the beauty shop to look for gatsby hair dyes...whua can't wait to dye my hair! haha...

after dat we walked and walked until dinner time..then we can't think of a place to eat..cuz everythign there we have already got tired of eating..lyk yoshinoya,pastamania,long john's...all these we have eaten so many times we dun feel lyk eating at those places already...then we saw a man from burger king giving out coupons...so he said let's go take to see if there's anything nice...so we took the coupons..then we went to bureger king..and realised we can eat the student meal which is cheaper.so he went to buy the student meal.then he upsized it!!! whua soo big !! and i was so so so full....then after dat we were so full we could hardly walk..wahaha....so we tot of the crazy idea to exercise...and we did so by walking from cineleisure to suntec.....whua...legs gona break..

then along the way we saw those trishaw riders..they were parking along the roadside waiting for customers..and guess wad? they were blasting techno music!!! whua...so cool! picture a trishaw ah pek lying down with his legs crossed with techno music blasting from the speakers from his trishaw...whua so cool lo! then i wanted to take a pic of them..but my samsung phone is spoiled...the lcd got some problem so i can't use it..so i'm using the nokia8250..no camera..haha...too bad then...

dis day's i have been walking alot....two days ago i went to his place there to have dinner with him..then we were so full again so we decided to walk...and from his place we walk and walk till we reached tampines mall..haha! good la..i can shed some calories...

by the way dis year the xmas deco in orchard very hilarious one leh! they have huge xmas trees down the whole stretch of town..then when nite comes,ALL the xmas trees shake their butts one...wahaha!!! so funny lo!

back in singapore...

whua..im safe and sound back in singapore...in case u dono wad i mean...well,lemme explain.my history paper is over! i've been touring around the world for 4 days...well..in my history textboook dat is.yeh so my history is over,and im back here in spore! for good! (i suppose..)

man today was an emotionally drained day...not forgetting to mention physically drained as well..ok here is wad happened first thing in the morning...

i went to sch ..and in sch the first person i saw was my art teacher..kinda bad luck for me..cuz i sure noe she will do something drastic to my art work..which she really did! well i already prepared all dat i had to do for prep work,and my final composition was ready and im ready to give it a go.i had already prepared all my materials for that piece of drawing im gona draw.but dis is wad happened: she is not happy with my final artwork,and guess wad.she took away my final prep work and gave me another idea...i asked her to give me back my original idea cuz im afraid i wun be able to finish dis sudden unexpected change of final work she gave me...yet she refuses...and my world came crashing down and i was brutally crushed...so i had no choice but to do something i wasn't prepared to do...paint a piece of drawing which i didnt even prepare for it...haiz....sickening..and in the exam hall i was already on the verge of tears...going to cry any second.why is the world such a cruel place?! haiz....but i held on to my tears anyway...i scared wait i cry i can't stop crying and everyone in the exam hall's gona think i'm nuts or wad...*sigh* well..perhaps God allowed dis to happen for a good cause...

anyway when i was having art in the exam hall,there were some funny stuff dat happened.there was dis girl beside me(private candidate)..and her paints and painbrushes were all new!!! still wrapped in their wrappers...haha..then when she started to use them she had to tear them out from their wrappers..paints paintbrushes and all..and it was rather noisy ...all the crackling noise from the wrapper..haha!! and there was this girl who was using a marker(oso private candidate) and i think her marker ran out of ink..and she kept shaking her marker..and the "clack clack clack" sound was so LOUD despite the fact that she is ACROSS the hall from me...haha! and i think she panicked when her marker ran out of ink cuz the way she shake her marker was very furious...hahah~~ and the paper ends at 11am...and got one private candidate came at 10.05 am! haiyo~ amazing.....haha~

history was a breeze..the subjects i studied came out.praise God!! =D

haiz ok...i gtg rest my tired body and my weary soul....c ya!

yawnz again

man i feel so tired....yet i still have so many things to do...i wan o levels to be over NOW! i dun care! now means now! hmph~!!!

man i think i'm gona gain extra flabs already.have been staying at home for 2 days and eating and eating...argh...eating seems uncontrollable when i am studying...i must munch something when i study if not...u'll probably find a decomposed me at my study desk...yeh in other words i'd b rotting away with boredom....

after this week,i'm gona be free lyk a bird escaped from a cage.well i still have one paper on the 22nd.wad i mean is,this week's subjects are boring...boring subjects to study! so...after this boring tedious week is over,im gona fly lyk a bird!!! hhaa~

hmm let's see..i have a whole list of stuff planned after my exams...
-firstly i'm gona rebond my hair,
-then i'm going christmas shopping,
-then i wana go do french menicure,
-then i wana buy myself new clothes,
-then i wana go ice skating!!
-then i wana go kayaking..
-i wana go sentosa to sun tan,
-i'm gona contribute to the environment by dumping ALL my worksheets into the recycle bins for papers at changi airport(anyone wana join me in my environmental project? hehe~)
-then my mummy says she wana go HK!!! WOOO!!! and she ask chris to come with us~ waha! yay can "mai dong xi chi dong xi" in other words,shop till i drop and eat till i BURST! haha~ (ok the english one i partially made up myself one la..)

yupyup! yay....haha....nvm nvm ...ONE MORE WEEK TO GOOOO!!!!

yawnz

yawnz....my art my art my art!! God plz to something to help me in my art!

yesterday was my church carnival..so FUNNNNN~!!!!!!! haha..i brought madeline and si xian along..haha...and dat JASON!! *smacks myself on the forehead* scared of this and scared of dat!! =P haha~ then keep on wanting to play game to win a teddy bear!! lolz...and got us into playing game oso...lol....so it was a very fun day....but it rained halfway and our shoes and the bottom of our jeans got so wet! and uncomfortable too! at first jason only won a pitiful looking "pencil box" ....or should i say it is more lyk a pencil case sewn out from bedsheet...aha! then after dat he die die oso must get a teddy bear..so we play and play and play...and he finally got one!! haha...then we were so happy..then hui xin oso went to play..and she oso won a teddy bear! hahaha...haiz..so fun lo yesterday...if only my o levels were already over..then i can go play again today and bring another grp of friends today oso! *sobz*

at the end of the day me mike hui xin and si xian called a cab to fetch us home since the 4 of us stay at the east side....then we split the cab fare and share lo....looking forward to such days again! after o level...gona play play play play!!

to my dear friends and CGM: play with me after exam wor~~!!~!!!

??......

stress,sad and insecure...wad the hell is wrong with me....haiz..

desperate!

man i'm desperate to go for a hair makeover..my hair's lyk a patch of grass on my head! ARGh!

anyway today's gona be another stay-at-home kinda day for me...nowhere to go..only can go visit Germany and Russia and China in my history textbook...a free trip around the world in a day..now how's dat for exchange with boredom? hardly any luxury at all i must say....

:(

he's very ill...hi gh fever of 39.5 degrees..and the doc suspects he is down with mumps...oh no! dis can't happen! not now! haiz...y must he fall sick at this time when we are in the midst of a major,life threatening exam??? God please heal him...

so poor thing..wish i can do something to help ease the physical pain...*sigh* =(

sWiMmIng~

hehe..came back from chris's country club and started to do my blog template at once.anyway,nice skin? haha..

so today was a fun day once again.went swimming at the club...finally learnt how to really really swim...thanks to chris who taught me...much to my horror...cuz we went to the 3m deep pool..argh! and i refused to let go of the side of the pool..choosing to cling onto it for my dear life until chris had to give much persuasion before i reluctantly let go...so i swam lyk a dog for the rest of the day..refusing to let my head go underwater cuz i didn't bring my goggles and i have this fear of closing my eyes underwater...i dono y..haha..

after that we went to a japanese restaurant at the club to have our dinner..and man..i was so full cuz we ate alot~ haha...

yeh so that's all abt it for today..time to hit my history book...~

A Princess' Life

wow...Princess Diaries rox~ it's such a beautiful movie~ :D how i wish i am a princess...wad a luxurious life i would have! :D

anyway me and ah xian were pigging out in the movie.haha.we bought nachos with cheese,a huge coke and a huge popcorn...we didn't even have enough hands to carry all that stuff..so the very kind person gave us a plastic bag to put our popcorn in.lolz.

after the show we went to take neoprints ..and after taking them we figured out that the sticker machines in town are nicer...so we decided to head on to bugis.and so we went there,and took photos..we wanted to take somemore but the shop was closing...yeh so too bad.then we went window shopping..walking aimlessly looking at cute little stuff..and bought some stickers to paste onto our handphones.it was a rather nice day for me yesterday cuz for once i forgot all abt my books in lyk...3 months! haha...

at the end of the day,ah xian's dad and chris coincidentally called and said they wanted to pick us up.so ah xian's dad brought her home and chris brought me home.a nice day i must say.i'm lookng forward to this kind of day again on the 22nd..yes 22nd! the day where the battle ends~

so today,i'm going down to chris's country club to study my history cuz the place is a very condusive envirnment to study in,especially a tedious mind blowing subject lyk history.yup.and after studying perhaps i'm gona go for a swim there too.so time to dig out my "rusty" swimming suit..as i have not swam for lyk...2 years!!! =P

that's all for now..blog again later~

happy happy~ :D 

the grudge

haha~ went to watch The Grudge in the morning after my chemistry paper..with farid and zuraidah.and farid was so nice to gimme a movie treat.ha~ thanks farid!

yup anyway the movie was rather scary...though i dono y everytime after the scary scenes,the three of us would laugh hysterically~ lolz~ and at first we couldn't find our seats.so we just sat at a "spooky" place..right at the back where it is very dark.then behind us was a wall...but there was a gap between the wall and the back of our chairs...then when we turned around and realised that gap,our imaginations ran wild..thinking dat halfway through the show a hand is gona come up and grab us or something,so we ran to the other side of the room and sat at some empty seats.the whole row was empty actually..and farid insisted he wanted to sit in the middle so he would feel "safe" .haha~ but halfway through the advertisements i decided to move in and sit in the extreme corner..and then to regret later cuz farid was saying wad happen if a hand suddenly pops out of the wall and grab me..wahaha~

anyway watching a horror movie with the two of them can turn out to be a comedy at times,cuz they really give crazy hysterical comments on the suspense parts...wahaha~ yeh so it was an enjoyable morning with them.

later on i'm gona watch a movie again..haha..with ah xian.we're gona catch The Princess Dairies 2.lolz.excited cuz i love watching comedies with her...we can laugh the cinema down..and stuff ourselves with popcorn lyk there's no tmr..lolz.yup so i' waiting for her call to tell me she's ready and i can go out already.

chemistry paper was a breeze~ so there's hope for my science after all~~ haha~ :D

sprained hip

ha~ i forgot to tell u guys dat i sprained my hip on saturday.now i feel so stiff and i can't even bend down with ease...which means i have difficulty wearing my shoes and socks while standing(which is wad i always do) ,have difficulty sitting down,have difficulty lying down,have difficulty wearing my clothes...bla bla ba...i just feel so stiff! lyk and old oooooold woman...sobz..

bliss~

aaaahhh...a nice weekend for me...well a nice saturday dat is...before cell group,me and chris darling went walking ard tampines central...going to metro and isetan and looking at prom dresses...wow so beautiful!! i wana wear one so much!! and i dream of going prom with chris but then we are in different schools..and anyway,our school didn't organize a prom nite dis year so too bad..haha..and so after dat we went to look around for formal shoes for men...ya noe,those u wear to a wedding ...cuz chris wanted to buy...wow...they look so slick and shiny..haha...haiz.dream of wearing formal with him and going to some formal occasion..haha..dat would be wonderful....hee...

well anyway i had my e maths paper 2 today.it was well...kinda tricky but manageable alright. :D so after school i went to meet him at bedok...and we went to eat sliced fish noodles for lunch at a hawker centre behind his school...it was delicious man! after that we headed to his place.i waited at his block downstairs cuz he was going down again to start his father's car anyway.cuz his dad is currently working in hong kong and his car is here.so chris was saying the engine of a car,if left stagnant for too long,will get spoiled or something...i dono.ask him.haha.well so anywya the engine's gota run once in around 4 days so chris will go down once in a few days to get the engine running for a while...

yeah well so we went into his dad's car and he started the engine..got the engine exercising...and then we were fiddling ard with the knobs and buttons in the car,making water spurt out at the front and stuff...turning the steering wheel and stepping on the accelerator,pretendng to drive...bla bla bla..haha..and fiddling with the signal knob...looking at the arrow flash left and flash right....and then fiddling with the air conditioning..opening every compartment to see wad's inside..haha....was kinda fun i must say.and right n the middle of all the fiddling,out of the blue came past a funeral...was kinda scary.but we carried on fiddling with the buttons anyway and making water spurt out from the front again...haha~

and then we went up and i was so tired i fell aslp...so when i woke up it was around 4 plus? i think..and i realised he too fell aslp so so did his brother.haha~so i snacked and came online...chatting and reading my chemistry notes.then his mum came home and cooked dinner...and man am i full now.whenever i'm out to eat with his parents or at his house to eat,i'll NEVER fail to feel full and ready to burst! yeh so he was saying if i marry him i'd be sure to grow fat in no time.wahaha~

oki.yup dats all for today.gona enter into the world of chemistry...ciao~

lalalala~

:D happy~

Praise God,for he never fails to renew me and deliver me from all sins and problems.

lalala~

love_dreamz..... (^-^)

in the beginning

in the beginnning,everything seemed wonderfully perfect.everyone is happy and contented and feels dat they can never find anything more happy than this.everything done is done with joy and laughter.

as time passes,problems surface.at first,they will be settled peacefully and everyone would be happy again.but as the problems happen again and again,and get more and more frequent,the happiness wanes.there will no longer be sparks of happiness but sparks of anger.overtime,hurt,anger and resentment replaces happiness.replaces the wonderful days that used to be.

in the beginning,promises are made.promises of forever happiness,promises of forever caring,forever sweetness and forever understanding.yet as time passes,these promises are slowly forgotten.the promises of sweetness are no longer there...as the promise is made out of nothing but just a rush of romantic emotions.slowly,the sweetness melts away like candy floss...never to be able to take it back anymore..and everything is not as sweet and wonderfully perfect as before.

through experiences,i have come to conclude that in the beginning,everything would of course be perfect.because in the beginning all we see are nothing but perfectness.but as time passes we shall see all the ugliness of situations.and the true colours too.

thus,i shall never be fooled by the sweetness of beginnings anymore.becuz they are ...well...only beginnings....

will it come back?

xiang hui dao guo qu.....

Break Away

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

[Chorus:]I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakawayI'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

(*~*)

i think i am a very selfish person.i must change lo...but i dono how ...and i am so demanding...on myself and others.if it is only on myself it's ok..but on others too? dats too much dun u think.haiz...i must change and it takes alot of will power to steer my mind away from all the negative thoughts and selfish thoughts....it takes alot of mental strength to calm myself down so as not to misunderstand others.often i must have alot of strength to tell myself not to think lyk dat cuz it's wrong.it is easier to give in to my emotions but i dun wana give in to it.i m not gona let it rule over my life.i must get the strength to change.can i ? will i ? where can i find enough strength to carry on?

Slow tears

I look upas a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek

Seek not my heart

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?
Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?
Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?
Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.
It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.
It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.
No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.

Warped and twisted

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much,
I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

* * *

Life is a prison,
Oh God let me out.
No one to listen,
To hear when you shout.
Climb the walls of insanity,
Ride the waves of despair.
If you fall it don't matter,
There's no one to care.
Used to wish for a window,
To see birds, trees and sky,
But you're better without one -
Stops you aiming too high.
Watching freedom is painful,
For those locked away.
Seeing joy, love and happiness,
Another price that you pay.
Strong is good, weak is bad.
Be it false, be it true.
Your mind makes the choice,
And enforces it too.
Cell walls built by society,
With rules to adhere.
If you breach the acceptable,
You had better beware.
Hide the pain, carry on,
Routine is the key.
Don't let on that you're not,
What you're pretending to be.
Lock it all up inside you,
How badly that bodes.
Look out for that one day,
When it all just explodes.
Leaving naught but a shell,
Base functionality too.
But killing all else,
That was uniquely you.
So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?

You can't.

* * *

I get a funny feeling,
it comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
my dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
no one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
and the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
it will some day.

Refuge

I sing a love song to you Lord
Everday,everynight
Tell of your goodness and mercy
Tell the world
How you rescued me
Picked me up from sin and shame
Your breath gives me new life

Where can i go
From your presence
Under your wings i take refuge
Your spirit lives within my heart
I know we'll never be apart

Chorus:
Everyday
I draw closer to you Lord
I long to see your face
And hide in you embrace
All my life
Dwelling in your Holy place
My heart oh Lord you've changed
I'll never be the same

Never be the same...

weee

hmm...ss paper was quite a breeze...pray that i'll do really well..cuz the examination board is a very cruel place.if the paper is easy it means the marking will b strict.ha! i really call dis unfair~

chinese paper was quite a breeze too but i duno if i can make it for paper 2 cuz it's kinda difficult.but all in all it was gd.must pray very hard.

haiz.someone i know is super super proud.disappointed with dis person.changed alot..dono wad happen to dis person.dis person is not the person i used to know.dis person better be careful with the words said man...this person better think twice before saying out words.i think this person nvr think before speaking.cuz the words are always so proud and i-know-it-all-better-than-you.*rolls my eyes* puuhhhh-leeease! gimme a break~this person better be careful cuz the sin that God hates the most is pride and the saddest thing is dis person has a serious case of pride man.plus a whole LOAD of attitude problems. *take note that i used the word LOAD and not LOT. ha! i can't stand the attitudes.think you are great? wana boss me arounD? u know wad? dun bother to boss me around cuz it's not gona work.dun try to boss me.dun even dream of it.u have ur life i have my life.u have ur way of doing things i have my way of doing things.so dun always try to show that ur way is the right way.and,i think u gota give more respect to ur friends.all in all u are too PROUD.