The cruel truth

This is the most depressing thing ever.

I didn't understand why my pals had to photoshop their faces before they can post their photos onto their blogs. So i decided to photoshop my face as well out of curiosity (sparked off by Sophia's mega love for the Smudge tool) AND NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THERE IS A NEED TO DO IT.

I gave myself 4 nose jobs on Photoshop and look at the heart wrenching difference:

Nose job 1



Nose job 2


Nose job 3



Nose job 4



I am the ugliest girl in the world. Photoshop, die die die die! Why must you make me feel so ugly!

I need a nose job!

Went to the vet with Mr Curly Wong and bought this for the puppies:



Animalac Plus: A milk substitute for cats and dogs. (ok badly taken pic)

it smells horrid. exactly like those Nestle/Dumex shiat (i almost type Durex wahahhaha ok totally random). i dislike the smell of milk powder. But the puppies seem to enjoy it alot. Mocha ain't producing much milk already so this makes a good substitute for the puppies.

Ran with the Running Club yesterday. And i'm proud to say that i ran a total of 7 rounds!! 4 rounds non-stop, and then i rested, and then 2 rounds non-stop, and then i rested again and then i ran 1 last round before Mr Curly Wong came to pick me up to go to the vet. ok ok i shall aim to run like 10 rounds non stop the next running session.

Failed to go home with the Walking Club lately because we are all busy with our own projects. Bah. We need to walk again soon before my legs turn flabby!

I want this friggin month to be over and next month to start! And i wana SWIM.

am i reaching my goals, or are they even goals at all...

Chill chill chill (and something for ZIXIAN at the end!)

Since we are more or less done with our hectic school work, we headed down to Balcony Bar on Friday to chill.



i like the menu there cuz they have hilarious stuff like Blowjob, Quick Fuck, Orgasm, Slippery Nipples and all that shiat.

Liting and Eunice had to do funny things at the bar involving the bouncer, and then Poh Han and Zuozhi french kissed. And Abby and Eunice kissed each other on the lips. too bad, no pictures to document all these events. wahahaha.

I reached home in the dawn and slept for a few hours and then went out again to the Study in Australia exhibition at suntec with Mr Wong and his mother. There were alot of courses and schools and i had a good talk with most of the representatives/lecturers. i think dance is very bleak for me because i don't have a very strong dance foundation. drama seems more likely for me.

i also checked out Pathology. it is one hell of a course that will most likely give me brain tumours.

well, my future seems bleak again. i have no idea where i should really go to..

anyway...look what i got for mr wong!



you like it?

i suppose i should start calling mr wong Mr Curly Wong because that strange guy went to perm his hair...AGAIN. (i don't have pics of him yet!)

wells, i woke up really late today and i missed all that church thingies. :( it's really been awhile since i get to sleep till AFTER noon. i am having mixed feelings about my driving once more. i just can't wait to get over all this driving lesson shiat and get my license.

and ZX is love!! lookit what she said to me!



^-^

Blogskin

wow wow wow ok i changed my blogskin! but it's still not complete yet. there are still some changes i would like to make to it. haha!

the longest entry ever

Similarities between me and Eunice:

1. We have the same height and weight

2. We love vintage thingies

3. We are teochew and hokkien mixed (paternal hokkien, maternal teowchew, yes even this is the same!!)

4. We are terrified of gaining weight

5. We love Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle and Xiao Qian!

6. We think the hero in Howl's Moving Castle is cool

7. We are bitching sisters

8. We'd rather be bimbos than bitches (ironic compared to point 7 wahaha)

9. We are satisfied with all parts of our bodies except our hips/butts/tighs, tighs especially

10. We learn cantonese

11. We love Nicole Ritchie!!!!!!

12. We think Paris Hilton is actually quite a smart woman.

13. We have very thick hair that grows fast.

14. We prefer Art to DnT!

15. We both wana look sexy before we grow old and our breasts sag to the floor.

16. We admire women with long long long legs.

17. We'd rather have toned tighs than flabby ones. (ok like who doesnt.)

18. We have the same sort of (rubbish) diet. lol.

19. We love flavoured lipgloss.

20. We both had our fair share of experiences in cheerleading. waha.

21. Coffee has laxative effects on us.

22. omg ok there is more but i can't remember at the moment wahaha.


Eunice and me are the NICE SISTERS! (i just tot of that.)


ok so initially i wanted to make this blog private. but after that i can't be bothered anymore about what people think of what i type/say. i mean like it's my blog yeh so if you dun like it or you dun like me then screw off and dun come back.

design school's girl's toilet has like the most hilarious sign. it changes everyday, courtesy of dono which joker.







Lol....and and and.. i have been busy wth PRODUCTION!

take a look at some of our shots..

Project 2 Production:





at Matthew's house testing out the equipment before we go for a trial shoot.

on the shooting day itself..



Matthew helping talent with the make up



Redhead lighting with blue coloured plastic to give a blue-ish lighting to our film.




Headphones and sound mixer to test audio.



Matthew joking while having a break.



Poh Han and his sexy tigh.



Video Production Production:



The guys setting up the camera. HD OMG. Caleb is supposed to act as this bodyguard guy so he’s dressed in blazers and all that shiat.



Zuozhi and Joseph setting up the boom mic.



It was raining on the day of our production and the guys were kind enough to ask us girls to wait for them in the shelter while they film in the rain. And look how they had to trudge back after they’re done shooting! So many guys sharing one pathetic reflector. I think Joseph can’t be bothered to squeeze in with them. Haha. Poor things!



2nd day of production, we went to somewhere spooky to shoot. Guess where?
Anyway I dono what Zuozhi and Soonmei were trying to do. Probably they were teaching each other how to tie up their hair.



Setting up the HD cam in that spooky place.



The duty roster is still on the wall. God knows how long back it is dated. * shudders *



The names of the people who were in charge of the roster is still there. God knows if they are still around. * shudders more *



Gordon in all his glory.

Recce pictures of Video Production:







and wow wow wow wow production is over!!! And I should be overjoyed………………… NOT.

There’s still CDI project to do in which we are still in our pre-production stage. DIE.
Oh yes and awhile back I had Korean dinner with mr wong and his mother. HEAVENLY. The have like this charcoal grill thing and it comes with THRITEEN side dishes. Wohohohohoho..













this is love!



and this rice tea rocks!!

Jessie is love. i will learn more from her. she knows her stand well. i miss you!!

Lastly, I shall not be so dumb and be nice to people who choose to be mean to me. Not anymore. I SHALL JUST STOP WASTING MY TIME. I will just ignore such people. Clearly, they have NO WORTH WHATSOEVER to deserve my time and kindness. I shall invest my friendships and relationships with people who rightly deserve it. I can’t be bothered anymore with such losers who think that my kindness and my being nice to them is an absolute thing. And I don’t give a fuck or two fucks or a trillion fucks about people who judge. I think maybe they should start wearing white coloured wigs with those ridiculous curls. Obviously there are a lot of friends out there who deserve my love and time more.

you think you can agitate me and make me hate you? sorry i don't wana hate. i don't wana burn in hell. i think the hate truely comes from YOUR HEART. i won't even be affected by it. it's so ridiculous that i don't see any point of bothering about it.

Are you reading this you bitch?

Eunice Chiam has the same height and weight as me! wooooooooooo~~

i am in a very deep need to bitch. like SUPER in the need to. i am rather pissed off with.....ahem ahem hallelujah.

omg. i shouldn't be bitching here. it's too pubic public.

i am contemplating a change of blog url again. like ok..i changed to this url becuz too many people know about my previous blog and i lost the privacy to talk about private things...like bitch, for example. and so i signed up for another blog url which is this and now alot of people know about it too.

i open up blogs to share tots with people i am like really close to...i hate it when anonymous people or people i am not close to comes to my blog everyday to read in discreet and get to know so many things without telling me and i dono anything about it.

worse is some fucked up people actually went to the chatango box and just park there and remain quiet like for wad? arouse my curiousity and make me wonder who the heck is it?

no way. i dun play such games. if u wana talk in my chatango box u are free to do so. BUT if u are only parking there then i suggest u fuck ur jiggly pork lard ass off.

and if u are those who have been reading my blog for weeks/months/years and u have not even tagged a single time then fuck off also. chances are we are not close and you just wana kpo about my life that's why u come visit regularly but never bother to tag.

ah shit. ok i am off topic and venting my anger on all these stupid stuff when all i want right now is to bitch about...ahem ahem hallelujah.

and today its black coffee for breakfast, 750ml of chardonnay + 4 panadol for lunch and campbell's corn soup for dinner.

and upapa is like the most shitarded invention ever.

ok off topic.

can't sleep..so much has been going on in my mind. xin may be right, i am growing on barren land, a land with no nutrients. personal growth,yeh maybe. but otherwise, not much growth. yeh, she may be right. but then again, God works in mysterious ways and so we must not judge or decide anything based on our own limited perspectives.

everything happens for a reason. my departure was for a reason, my arrival was for a reason, and i believe all of these are lessons God wants me to learn. perhaps all these are tests and chastisements from Him. perhaps it's His form of discipling me. i dono. all i can say is, i have changed and i don't like this new me at all.

i miss them. but God is the one leading. so i won't act on rash impulses anymore.


thanks xin. i miss u tonnes!

CNY

my CNY was good. catched up with cousins whom i have not catched up with for ages.

first day was just full of visiting and food. the highlight came on the 2nd night of CNY.

we headed down to this place:









here, you'll find singers singing stuff like those in the 7th month ghost festival "concert", as well as singers accompanying lonely old men at their tables pouring and drinking drinks with them. my daddy is the drummer, my uncle the keyboardist, and my aunt works at the reception at this place.

anyway, so we were just sitting at our tables, drinking and chatting and just minding our own business when this weird man sat down beside chris and started to chat nonsense. We couldn't even make out what the hell he was talking about. we got quite irritated. my mum went out to the loo, my dad and uncle were playing on stage. so we couldn't really do anything.

luckily, my aunt looked over from the reception and saw this old man, and she asked a bouncer to chase him away. when the bouncer came, this old man refused to leave, and even sprouted more nonsense, saying we were the ones who invited him to sit at our table! utter bullshit.

and then the bouncer punched him. omg. i don't know whether to laugh or be scared at that moment because the old man was just being tipsy and irritating and the bouncer punched him. it was kinda comical. haha..and then another bouncer came over and both started shouting and attacking him. and then that old man became a little agressive and he turned around and said something to chris with this fierce look in his eyes. then everyone nearby started to look and stare at our table. gosh. it was just mad.

they managed to get the old man away. whew.

on the third day of CNY, relatives came to my place and we had another round of steamboat.



see those little thingies with the pink ears? they're piggy fish cakes. my mum is like so into pigs this CNY.



little piggies in the steamboat! eeeks!!



i have one in my bowl! Lol.



daddy's old school ah beng tattoo. there's my mum's name on it.


that's all for my CNY. and of cuz my hong baos made me very happy. *chuckles*

puppies!

Mocha is a happy mother!



one of her little pups. their eyes have not opened yet.

today marks their one week on earth!

Went to the vet 2 days ago and the vet said Mocha is expecting 3-4 puppies. Gave her a jab of vitamins, and gave calcium pills to help her in her milk production, as well as multi vitamins to give her nutrition and strength for her and her pups.

Today, Mocha went into labour. it was a very exciting moment. Her waterbag broke at about 1.45pm...her first pup only came at 4:16pm...but then.. very sad. the first pup was a really huge one and Mocha had difficulty pushing it out. It was stuck in its membrane and it suffocated to death...very sad...

The rest of the three pups came in 15-30 minute intervals. All were really tiny compared to the first one, so they were easier for Mocha to push out. I tore their membrane immediately to prevent them from suffocating, like what happened to the first one.

The whole process wasn't as bloody and dirty and smelly as i'd expected. In fact, it was rather clean because Mocha licked up everything on her own. I guess all dogs have natural instincts to clean up after their babies. So it was an easy thing to manage.

I still can't tell the gender or the breed of the pups yet. I still don't know which dog breed raped my Mocha. But it's ok. Yes i am sad that we lost the first pup, but it's done. I can now only rejoice over the others that are ok. May the first pup rest in peace and go to heaven.

I've taken pictures and videos of the whole process. I shall post them up soon!

You like to see me suffer, right?

It's ok. I won't retaliate. Do what you want. In the end, you'll suffer the most. Bitterness will eat your heart up, and you will be so consumed by hatred that you will be so sick of yourself.





Mocha is suspected to be pregnant. Me and sis checked up the pregnancy symptoms for canines and they all matched what Mocha is experiencing right now. Her appetite has increased a hundred fold, and her belly is bulging out with tits so huge that she looks like she has a cow's udder.



Scary.

Tmr, if Mr Wong is free and all goes well, we're gona bring her to the vet.

I've changed my driving instructor (finally). Tmr will be my first lesson with my new instructor. Looks like i've got to pospone my driving exam date. That stinky old man (my previous instructor) has not even brought me into the circuit once. How did he expect me to pass? And he didn't allow me to postpone my exam date even! Ridiculous.

Hopefully all goes well with this new instructor.

Mum made little piggies out of red packets. Hilarious.



and i finally got to eat ikea's meatballs!!! (slow i know.)



yum!

as for school, WE'RE LEARNING HD!!! woo! had a training today from this Mr Guna on how to operate the HD cameras...omg one memory card for the HD camera ( we call it the P2 card) costs like..$2000?! and it can only hold up to 8 minutes of content. so we have to bring at least 2 P2 cards out with us when we are filming so we can interchange the cards when one runs out of memory space. We also have to lug around a Mac, so we can upload content into Final Cut Pro on the spot to ensure that the contents in our P2 cards can be uploaded into the Mac and deleted on the spot. Rather troublesome. But in time to come, very soon in fact, we're gona have P2 cards that can store greater memory. and the HD camera rocks! We learned the technic on how to take sunrise to sunset ( don't really have to film the sun from 6am to 6pm, there's a camera trick!) and make objects look like they can walk. The whole equipment is just magical.


problems in the family again. because of them, i don't see a promising future, no matter how much i want to have a successful one. because of them, i can only depend on myself, and i am not even strong enough. i guess my life is destined to be a pit bottom slum always.
What does God want me to learn from it?


mood: sadly struggling