Flikey!

hey hey! let me introduce my new friend to u! he is Flikey! the flat spikey sheep!



dis is him when he has got nothing much to do and comes up to the surface to float on the water...



he feeds on seaweed.his favourite! haha.see? he's so happy eating his meal. (^-^)



Flikey lives under the sea so he spends most of his time swimming around exlporing the big ocean.



when night falls,Flikey sleeps on his comfortable sea bed... :D



dis is how Flikey looks when he is happy.he dances around on the ocean floor. (^-^)



uh oh...Flikey is angry.he is seldom angry unless the ocean is polluted with rubbish and oil spills caused by the inconsiderate humans.



see...Flikey is sad because the inconsiderate humans are continuously destroying the huge wonderful ocean,causing his friends to deplete rapidly.

do u like my new friend Flikey? i love him to bits! XD

new batch of assignments

woohooo...just when i tot my assignments are cleared...a new batch of them came in again fresh from the oven....shalalala~

ComDI essays cleared.

3D perespective drawing and wire twisting cleared.

C&E project cleared! WEEE!

drwaing essentials cleared.

and then.....

drawing essentials-line rendering

2D-earthscape

Ideation-character design and colour thingy...

ComdI-shoebox

whua....lalala...lolz...i wan my term break now!

ooooh!!! i got new mp3 player! hwalalala....hahhaa...on cloud nine now..lol..

sch was freaking slack yesterday...C&E was 9-10 am and so i have 5 hours to rot before the next class at 3...so i went to eat...then went library to finish up my comdi essays and then slept in the library..so shiok...every thursdays are slack days.shalala...

as usual C&E watch video again lo...watch stereotypical thinking of the soceity.dey were saying girls do better in academic than boys.wakhaka...and so the whole video is abt them carrying out surveys,research and stuff to prove whether true or not...turn out quite true leh..=X lolz.dey say it appears dat boys are less hardworking than girls.lolz.but rather bias results cuz dey only do research among the caucaseans.dey nvr do research among asians.so dun think the results are very true. XD

drawing essentials...finaly ronald says im improving.FINALLY!!! wkahakha...maybe there is hope in passing drawing essentials after all...hmm..i dono.just keep on keeping on ba...

sore throat came back again.it hurts alot.can't swallow things properly.feel lyk im swallowing one ball of spikes everytime i swallow something.i hate it man.teng hong say eat strepsils.dumb me has been eating vitamin c pills for days and it doesnt work.lol.k i shall go buy strepsils.

have been spending alot of time online dis days.nothing much to do u see.and i need company when im doing my assignments.i can't do my stuff alone lyk dat.it would be really boring.lolz.perhaps i shall just admit dat im playful.i simply need to talk to someone all the time if not i will just die.and thanks to darren hu has sent countless songs on msn.lolz.if not i will really just die of boredom.

want to write but dono wad to write.paranoid right. :S lolz.wadever. sch so far has been good.most of the stuff can finish in time.unlike in the past in sec sch always can't seem to catch up with deadlines.i think sec sch more hectic than poly.in my opinion.cuz sec sch gota juggle 7 subjects at one go.madness.i wonder how i went through sec sch and still survive.

anyway i realise my english has been really lousy.guess it's the lack of practice..used to write countless essays in sec sch.now...writing essays seem like a huge huge burden to me now.arghz.lol.

*missing u.faster come back please.lolz.watch ur weight too.muahaha.have fun in Wonderland.

anyway just wana say a huge thank you to my project mates yee ling lynette and jing jie.we've done a great job. XD was nice working with u guys.thanks.

*disappears in a puff of smoke*

haiz

why...why why? why must u always do dis? wad is there so difficult dat it cannot b said out? y must u resort to doing dis? do u think it's worth it? do u think it'll make everyone happier? dun u think it's selfish? dun u think it's being cowardly? haiz...maybe i shouldn't say much since i used to be lyk dat as well....haiz well nvm...sometimes even me myself feel lyk resorting to dis...im not even strong enough myself..so maybe i shouldn't say anymore...

i got back my 2D results for my first assignment.sigh.i'm prepared to get back even more worse results.i'm being pessimistic again...but i noe my standards already.dey are nothing.i knew right from the start my works are nothing.i kinda expected bad results already.it turned out to b true.i knew it.

*smile and wave~* lolz.madness again.

perhaps it's best to stay in madness so i can forget all abt my negativity.

assignments

ComDI-descriptive essay,narrative essay,shoebox

Ideation-character design,colour

2D-earthscape

JANICE!! JIA YOU!!!

lolz...not bad not bad.i am still surviving..lalala..... XD

i still have to type out project report for C&E..mm...my brain's functioning real slow now cuz i have gone for almost a day without food....omg there were so many temptations along the way! just now went out with hui xin..we went bugis..omg so much food! me and xin were resisting the temptation to buy and eat..omg..then we realise dat singapore really is a food paradise cuz everywhere u go is food food food and more food! just dat everyday eating has become a normal thing so we dun realise dat singapore basically sells food everywhere...it's onyl when u go without food for day and stopping urself from buying food then u will realise singapore indeed sells food EVERYWHERE! lolz...nice discovery.

argh...brain! work faster!

i realise dat nowadays i dun really have much to blog abt...dono y...feelings are getting more and more difficult to express...even here on blogs...in the past feelings were ok to express on blogs.but now..even here i dun even have the confidence to display my feelings openly.whimp me.argh wadever.

sometimes i wonder if keeping them to myself is better...i dono.

perhaps i shall blog again later...when i have tot of things to write? lol...madness me.

*flies off*

slacker

just came back not long ago from sch...turned down 2 invites for a movie all cuz i need to take care fo my niece for tonite.... (-_- )..bleahz!~

well..i went back to sec sch to collect my o level cert and i got a pleasant surprise seeing all our o level canvas pieces up on display! hehe.. XD and of cuz i'm happy to see my canvas there too! i miss my canvas! all the tears and sweat and sleepless nights put into it...and now dat it's finally back...i MISS IT SO MUCH! couldn't help taking pics with it..lolz...and i was also happy to see my friends' canvases too...it just brings back memories of staying back in the art room after sch...smuggling food up to snack while we paint our canvas...making alot of noise in the art room..wasting the acrylic paints...wakhakha....haiz...memories memories....after all the sweat and sleepless nights,seeing our canvas up on display lyk dat,i know with it is all worth it (^-^) i'd love to go through dat again.it has been fun!

here are the pics i took...


Kalijah's!



Sa'idah's!



Lester's!


Alan's!



Kai Min's!



Khairiana's!



Wei Ling's!

and some here by the sec 3 syf team, NA5 and NA4 of 2004...























and dis is the top student for 2003..



and finally... mine~~ XD







hehehe....yay...so happy! XD

geezz

geeeezz....wad a weak attempt to modify dis skin...lolz..plain huh.bleah..nvm...neverthelss wana thank mr chew jing jie for planting dis idea into my head. XD

i dun wana turn into a bummer.must discipline myself le ar.... (-_- )

righto....write in later..

*Happy 29th month anniversary*

lalala

hahhahaha...........wheee...rollercoasters are thrilling!!! haha...just blow my head off will ya?! wakhkaa...

initial d

INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX INITIAL D ROX!!!!!


aaaargh...dat show is full of eye-candy!!! XD XD wkahkaha....cannot take it le! so style so manly! hah... XD XD


went to watch it with zx...so long nvr see her! it's great to meet up with her again after such a long time...as usual we have so many things to say.lolz.and so many funny stuff we met along the way again.hahaa...next big gathering would b her bday! XD


i bought a top today.can't resist the temptation to buy dat top.it's simply so nice.so i HAD to buy it no matter wad.lolz....


man i went to sch today for nothing...well today my lecture starts at 9am but i woke up at 12..so i skipped dat lecture..and went to sch for the 3pm class..met up with leon,ben and jasper for lunch...then my friend called and said class is cancelled!! :S i went to sch for nothing!! bleah.so i called zx and we decided to meet earlier and watch earlier show.wkhakaha....


submission of 3D portfolio tmr....gona do le! XD

*flies*

bottle

i guess i shall keep them in a bottle...

what's ur problem...

i dun lyk it when things are lyk dat.well..nvm abt it....


anyway...CnE project deadline extended!!! ooooh~ basking in happiness right now~~~ yay yay yay! haha....lalala.....


sch was ok today....done arylic painting....next week gona do pastel drawing.FINALLY FINALLY!! no more paintbrushes and water spilling here and there....FINALLY we are using dry medium...wahahaha.... XD dun lyk painting.so messy.dun lyk watercolour especially!!! boo.


hmm...i hope friendships wun b affected...dun wana lose the fun we had.dun wana become lyk strangers towards each other....


alright...dats all.lalala~~ lallaa~ stay tuned!

haiz

alright.i've had enough.gime a break yeh.i'm a human.i have a life too.stop giving me such high expectations and EXPECT me to FULFILL it! come on...even though no matter how well i do,u will NEVER b happy! NEVER.all my life,my awards my achievements,my medals and trophies...have u ever taken pride in knowing i'm capable in doing all these? NO! all u do is just say "dats not good enough,dats not good enough" oh come on! i've had enough of ur dumb limitless expectations.i'm gona break free from them.from now on i will NEVER EVER do anymore things to TRY to PLEASE u cuz all dis 17 years i've come to accept dat i can NEVER please u! all dis years i've realised i'm just a dumb trying to fulfill the expectations u have on me! i have never had the chance to express wad i want.NEVER!but from now i shall just do WAD PLEASES ME! NOT wad please u! cuz,again,i can NEVER seem to please u! i can't even study wad i wana study.and now i'm studying wad i love so study,u condemn me saing wad i'm studying gives me no future,no hope.oh man,i shall just prove u wrong.SO wrong! if u bring me into dis world only to b unsatisfied with me all the time,then y bother to even keep me,to raise me? might as well just give me away or have another child and let THEM fulfill ur bloody expectations.omg u manipulate ur children to wad u wan them to b.u nvr give ur children a chance to express their true personality.thanks! i've REALLY had enough! shut up with all those dumb expectations and i dun care if i'm rude here or wad.i've SIMPLY had enough! I AM NOT PERFECT! so STOP trying to manipulate me to perfection! i can't take it!


enough of all dis.


anyway today was a really bad day.stupid me bashed my head against the edge of a glass.it hurts it hurts! it's a wonder i didn't faint.i'm not exagerrating.u wana try the feeling of having ur head bashed against the edge of a glass? i'll b glad to help. XD lol.


had trp outing today.leon going off to ns.everyone's going off to ns!! boo! not fun anymore.


so we played games...and TABOO! haha..TABOO was fun....always loved it.


haiz.some ppl are hard to trust.thank God.i can count on H.S to help me.to guide me and whisper words of caution to me.to deliver me out of trouble.He who is with me is more than he who is in the world.i shall not b affected.i can b soft and big hearted.but i'm not weak.i m stronger than u think.

Captian planet-the power is yours!

Captain Planet

(Weaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh)

Earth!
Fire!
Wind!
Water!
Heart!
Gooooooooooo Planet!
By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!

Captain Planet, he's a hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side

Captain Planet, he's a hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero
Gonna help him put us under
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

You'll pay for this Captain Planet!

We're the Planeteers, you can be one too
Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do
Looting and Polluting is not the way.
Here comes Captain Planet to the save day!

Captain Planet cares about trees.
Gonna save some endangered species.
Once he saw a guy step on a flower
Then the guy was dead cause Captain's got power.

Captain Planet loves the birdies
He cleans the world that you make dirty
He's a cool dude; his hair is green
And he's fighting on the planets side.

I'll kill you Captain Planet!

We're the Planeteers, you can be one too
Cuz saving our planet is the thing to do
Looting and Polluting is not the way.
Hear what Captain Planet has to say

The Power is yours!

(Weaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh)

haiz

went for dance audition today.brother ryan was the dance intructor XD haha...he's humorous.lots of funny comments while teaching us the dance steps.


argh i dun wana grow fat.i dun wan i dun wan.i dun wana gain weight oso.i'm satisfied with my weight now.


went for lunch with xin after the dance audition today.yucky lunch.we felt lyk we were eating food meant for the sick.it was so bland our taste buds were struggling to taste the food. :S


haiz.i need financial blessing.right now even a decent meal oso cannot afford.haiz haiz haiz.just kill me ba.if not i might as well just starve to death.haiz.might as well walk to sch and walk home.no money for traveling expenses.haiz haiz.might as well b a hermit.hibernate all my life.haiz.just kill me la.

irritated

next time i shall make sure my kids are well behaved and civilised.went to watch madagascar today and the whole cinema is packed with kids.not dat i dun lyk them.but most of them are..sad to say...super duper irritating.angry dat parents nowadays dun teach their kids cinema ettiquete.inconsiderate ppl.tsk.i was so irritated i SSSSSHHHH very loud at one of the parent and her kid.so irritating lo.if can i would have already tied the kid to her chair and tape masking tape onto her irritating mouth. :S i'll really make sure i will groom my kids to b civilised ppl next time.really.


anyway the show was hilarious but i still think finding nemo is the best of the best.hahaa.


today dun have lessons but i went back to school to do paper-making.have to make a total of 6 papers (or more) to hand in on friday 3D art fundamentals.brought glitter to decorate my papers.managed to do only 4 so far.2 more to go.tmr shall continue the 2 more during my lunch break.


man.i have a total of 3 assignments to redo


1.colour wheel

2.colour texture

3.ideation


say hello to slpless nites.wkahakhaa.


anyway...few days ago i went to design sch canteen to drink my beloved milo...was happily drinking and drinking.i finished the whole cup and was contented...until i looked at the bottom of the cup and my contentment was turned to horror,shock,disbelieve,disgust and terror....


there was a drenched dead moth at the bottom of my milo cup......


hahaa...i just screamed and screamed at the dead moth.argh.worse thing...i STIRRED my milo when i was drinking it.argh.just shoot me.lol.


argh my samsung phone lcd spoil again!!!! warranty has expired.costs $210 to fix it! CRIES LOUDLY!! where in the world do i get the cash?!?! cries...


*flies away*

so blessed

im so blessed so blessed.haha...thanks to a great pal for his birthday gift and for the effort to get me one. (^-^)


been very blessed with alot of things...including all the wonderful ppl i met...enjoying every moment of my life now cuz i noe i'm not alone...unlike in the past... :)


been having heaps of assignments.i stayed up for 2 nites to finish an assignment...only to noe dat i've done it wrongly when i brought it to sch.lolz.argh...nvm i shall redo it...passion keeps my adrenaline pumping.haha.


hmm....basically very happy. =D thanks everyone. XD

alalllal

great day! XD went for service in the morning and had a great time.service was fanastic! met lots of trpians on sunday service.hehee...


then went town with cgm....took pics and then ate and just walk ard and have fun....i love the pics we took!! XD XD


uploaded some onto my photo webby.will upload the rest again cuz now very tired already!

wad to do?

i feel lyk giving up and letting go.cuz it's getting nowhere.no cooperation,no understanding,no compromising.im tired.im frustrated.i wana get out of dis maze.i wana find my way out again.i dono if styaing is better or leaving is better.i dono anything anymore.perhaps all dis are just carnal.not from above.perhaps we have fallen too deep and we have to climb back up a long long way.i dono wad to do to make it better.im frustrated.cuz nothing seems to go right.u totally dun get wad im trying to get across.i wana give up.im tired.

pigging day

had a pig day today...

woke up at 3.30pm..then met relativesand cousins go bowling and archery....omg im hooked on archery already.going back nest week end. XD

then went to my ahma house to pig out cuz it's one of my cousins' bday... XD really pig lifestyle today.

tsk.my samsung phone lcd spoil again.haiz.2nd time le.irritating.perhaps it's really time to get another phone....

im procrastinating from my assignments again....help.just shoot me ba.

in school

blogging in sch library now.gosh.i have 3 hour lunch break everday. -_-.gets really bored after sometime yeh noe.nothing much to do.

just had my lunch.had 3D art fundamentals just now and we learnt how to make paper.really interesting but a very wet activity.lol.well..so now i noe how to make paper.dun have to buy letterpads or wadever fanciful paper anymore sinc ei canmake them myself for free XD XD

gona have communicating design ideas lesson later.i kinda dread dat lesson cuz it's soo soo soooo boring.it's almost lyk english lesson. :S using wide vocabs and stuff.argh.every friday i dun look forward to dis lesson cuz it just puts me to slp. (-_- )zZ.

lala...dis computer is so laggy compared to mine. :S cannot blame la.school library is school library. XD

my hectic week is over.i'm glad i survived.next week onwards i hafta catch up and brush up on my work.especially my drawing essentials stuff.argh.the lecturer for drawing essentials is one hell of a weird man.sometimes i feel lyk slapping him.lol.

i wana take pics...take pics take pics...!! hu wana go take pics with me? the urge is back! it's been quite sometime since i have dis strong urge to take pics again.last time always everday taking pics on my phone.but dono y lost the passion for a period and now it's back! XD oooh!

supposed to meet my project mates at 1pm but now already 1.46pm.all of them are late.so...let me enjoy my moments online first.lol.

hmm....well i guess i shall blog again later tonite. stay tuned! XD

mixed feelings..

haven't been updating.am jammed pack dis week with sch work and youth conference.the youth conference was simply great great great. XD enjoyed every session of it!!

guess i'm back to slpless nites.lolz.and maybe i'm used to slping 3-4 hours a day ba.dono y....i dun wana end up looking lyk a panda though.argh.i should get more rest.

and i'm so financially tight! bad timing...y must i be financially tight when the singapore sale is on?!?!?! argh.really bad timing.lol.so many things i wana buy.so many things on my wishlist.but not enough cash to get them! :S

by the way i wana say a huge thank you to all the ppl hu remembered my birthday and all those sweet birthday greetings and songs. XD i really appreciated it! (^-^)

and hui xin,going out with u is always always one rockin adventure!

happy birthday

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeee
happy birthday to me

gone

when i looked into the mirror today,i can't find my reflection.


and then i realised....it's gone..

meaningless entry.

haven't eaten any meal today.dun feel lyk eating.dono y.maybe medicine's making me cranky.paranoid maybe.but wadever.


i dono y im blogging actually.just feel lyk typing out stuff...wadever stuff...maybe i just need to talk.yeh...i guess i just need to talk.not fully understood yet.but it's ok.i shall get on.cuz wadever it is,i dun give a hoot and it's not my business either.i noe im talking in riddles but...does it really matter? if it's meant to b deciphered,it will b deciphered.if not,then let it remain as a code.the funny thing abt human beings is dat we are all complicated creatures.takes a great deal of time to understand,to see.


we play guessing games all the time...but often our hypothesis is dead wrong.so..i dun believe in haunches.haunches only serve to damage and mislead the mind.but alot of ppl out there rely on haunches.when dey expect something to happen,dey think dat thing will really happen.but..expectations are nothing but just expectations.most of the time,dey dun lead us to the truth.dey only lead us to destruction.


perhaps u are playing guessing games now.trying to guess wads the meaning behind wad seems to b a meaningless entry.not surprising.dis shows dat we care for each other i guess.or are we just curious? hehe.i guess it's a question to be considered with much effort.

so tired

im so tired....lots of things to do.i'd b super duper packed dis week.thank God..one more week to go..one more week! Gambatte!


i'm seriously sick now.i need healing!


sick and busy....wad more could i ask for? lol.


pos drawing near.come on everybody! let's EMERGE!

so busy...

my days are so packed so packed....haiz..nvm i keep telling myself dat one more week to go..one more week to go...after next week..after Emerge Conference,my schedule will b less tight and i can finally take a breather...endurance endurance!!


i'm not feeling well AGAIN.haiz...again and again...dis time,it's a bad bad sore throat....i dono if it's normal sore thorat or wad..cuz the pain goes all the way to the nose and my head...i'm suspecting it's a thorat infection.haiz..making me feel so sick and horrible.it's painful to swallow food,painful to cough,painful to swallow water..haiz...argh.i wana b healed!


assignmetns are getting heavier...and i must make a big decision...the decision is dis...:


in my year 2,i have to make a choice whether to stay in Interactive Media Design or go to Moving Images..cuz for dis 2 courses,the year one syllabus is the same.but in year 2 we have to branch out to dis two le.


Interactive Media Design involves stuff lyk cd-roms..dvd..interactive stuff in handphones and such....


Moving Images involves 2D/3D animtion,video production and audio production...


my main interest is animation.


the thing is...should i take interactive media design and take animation as an elective? or straight away go moving images and specialise in animation?


if i choose interactive media design,besides getting to take animation as an elective(which animation is wad i mainly want),at the same time i get to learn other multimedia stuff...(which i'm not as intersted as animations).


if i choose moving images,and when i specialise in animation,i will ONLY b learning animations and all my life i'd only b doing animations...(which animation is wad i really lyk).i wun get to learn other skills lyk in interactive media design.only solely animation.


in conclusion..interactive media design offers me a wider path in my future career as i can do advertising,animation,web design...bla bla...moving images offers me a narrow path in my future career as i can only b animator and design characters in games.


the thing is,i really lyk animation.so which one should i go???


should i go interactive media design and take animation as an elective..then specialise in animation in university...


or


go moving images and specialise in animation and then go university to further my animations studies?



please tag ur comments.i really need help in this area.

burned out

i'm burned out....rushing here and there almost everyday...it's totally inhuman...

someone just stab me to death la.

:D

hee...finally! new skin! the ayumi one see until sian le..hehee....i lyk dis skin.it's so cool.suits any music...slow or fast music oso suit. :D

hmm...hehee...i noe..it's almost 3am and i'm still awake...y? cuz my lecture starts at 3pm! :D :D hehee...and oso was online webcam-ing with dearest...he showed me really nice pics he took in macau.make me wana go there oso! haha.

hmm....today's lecture was okok...at first very slpy cuz the ang moh lecturer...think she's not very good in her command of english..i think she's german or something...so..her talk was slow and full of "uh.." and "um.." so i almost fell aslp.but then she's a nice lecturer :D gave us 45 min break.lol.so me and my pals went off to have our breakfast.so hungry! then we have to come up with 100 lines..straight line dot line wavy line....after all these we ran out of ideas...of cuz ma..where got ppl can find 100 different lines right? hahaa...wrong! we came up with staple lines...(staple one straight line on the paper) ,drew a rollerblade and called it INLINE..lol..drew a computer and call it ONLINE..cut a line on the paper and called it CUT LINE...drew a figure and call it WAISTLINE...drew an eye and then drew eyeliner and call it EYELINER~ hahaa....we came up with all sorts of cranky ideas~ :D so basically dis lesson is to teach us to think out of the box...lines doesn't mean just lines..can b any lines ma.lol.interesting lesson we had... :D

i'm enjoying life everyday....i'm learning to cherish everyone ard me more and more.love everyone ard me more and more.i thank God for giving me such an exciting life,for giving me so many friends and so many opportunities to go from glory to glory. :D

alright...i guess dats all.stay tuned~

a painful day..

had 3D Art Fundamentals lecture in the first half of the day.haha...3D art..most of u would think of computers....3Dmax..photoshop..bla bla.right? haha.but dats not wad we did.we made sculptures! haha...not huge sculptuers lyk pots and all those la..just small clay figurines...hehe...

the lecturer,ms tia,asked us to take out our discmans and mp3s and listen to our music..then we were blindfolded and given a mold of clay.then we were supposed to make something out of the clay while listening to our players while blindfolded.lolz.i was listening to ayumi...dis song u hear on my blog.lolz.then i did a butterfly...

after dat,we were asked to take off our blindfolds..then we were given another mold of clay..and we were suppose to make something else which can either b related to the first figurine we make or not...up to us.so i made a rabbit.lolz.i did a replica of Happy Bunny...hahahaha...which i think is very lame.in the end my figurines turn out to b real yucky...cuz..even if nice,dey dun hold any meaning to it.bleah.lolz.so..lesson learnt: make products containing values and meanings,not only eye-candy.haha...argh.

after dat went for lunch...ate at design canteen today.yummy western food! but biz park canteen the western food so much cheaper! xin if u are reading dis,monday i go biz park find u.lolz!

then had Communicating Design Ideas lecture...was split up into our project groups and given project to do.have to go down to art museum to do research le.lalala....dis lecture is basically abt speaking up...it's a very interactive class where everyone is supposed to engage in open discussions and stuff lyk dat.it's for us to learn to convey our ideas out clearly and confidently.not bad la.first time in 2 years since i ever spoken up openly in class.lolz.in fact,we HAVE to speak up whether we lyk it or not cuz we are GRADED for speaking up! ohmygosh.so i better speak up more.lolz.

then after dat..went off to church...so tiring.ahaha.but nevertheless it was a great day. :D

hey,miss you! have u been behaving urself? lolz.looking forward for u to come back and share with me ur wonderful experience! :D
dats all la.stay tuned~~

tiring day...missing him so much...

tiring day today...

lecture was boring.had Culture and Expressions lecture today.the listening part makes me wana doze off..somemore i was sitting at the corner..whua..even more wana doze of cuz such a nice spot to get comfortable in.lolz.but after dat when the lecturer let us watch some videos on cultures then it started to get interesting.he showed us abt the western culture..how the ppl in the west are so into fast food and not into going church...then he showed us jap tatto culture which was really gross cuz dey show the japs tattooing their custmoers all over the body...including the butt..and dey say in jap dis kind of ppl with tattoo all over are honoured ppl..respected ppl..stuff lyk dat.but i just think it's so ugly.tattoo all over the body where got nice.weird culture.then dey show culture of youngsters nowadays..basically clubbing and taking drugs...then thank God my lecture ended an hours plus early so i was let off early.woohoo..then me and my pals went off to the bookshop to get materials for our 2D Art Fundamentals class next week.everything is just so ex.can die.lolz.

after dat...send my dearest off...haha.argh...it's not my type to cry in front of ppl.so was basically fighting back tears. =P i'm pai seh to confess dis.haha.argh.dun laugh ok. =P lolz.then...i went back to his place with his mum to take my stuff..cuz my stuff very heavy so i left it at his house first b4 sending him off.so after collecting my stuff i went home and changed and went for pos training.

training was ok..rather tiring as usual.went to the gym to do warm ups.it's torturing for my poor muscles.sobz.dey are crying out and currently in depression mode.my poor muscles.lolz.mad.

another tiring day tmr! haiz.sch ends at 6..have to RUSH down to church.haiz....will b very tired de..haiz....ok la i shall go off to rest le.

stay tuned.

missing him terribly...

back blogging....

1st day of school was...real boring in the morning cuz design school had dis Genesis Meeting..meaning the whole design school go into the convention centre for meeting...giving off of awards...evaluate abt freshman orientation...school rules...speeches....bla bla bla...was dozing on and off on and off for the past 3 hours....bleah.

after dat...had lunch with melvin in school...had 3 hour break..so after lunch he went off for lesson and i went to meet up with pals from my course...so we chatted and rotted till 3 pm then went off for lecture...

lecture was fun.thank God my lecture is not those sit and listen only kinds.we draw and draw and draw and draw for 3 hours....back was aching over all dat hunching over the desk...then...had my very first assignment (a.k.a homework) on the very first day of school on the very first term of my first year in school in the first time ever after 6 months.lalaa~

wad else did we learn in the first lecture? we learnt abt different kinds of paper..their sizes..and their weights...and we must noe wad paper is for wad and wad kind of paper is durable and wad kind is not..wad kind will turn yellowish and wad kind is whitish....bleah.frankly speaking,after all dat,i can only tell u dat A4 size paper is 80g.lolz.the rest i just forgot.and so with dat,we were told to get A3 and A4 size sketchbooks.it's just lyk...art lesson for the rest of my life.yay.haha.no more memorising formulas for maths and equations for sciences and keypoints for humanities.YAY!!!! no more~~ hahaha....naninanibooboo~~ now is art art art!! draw draw draw!! imagine imagine imagine!! and design design design!! woosh!!! hallelujah! wkahakhaa...*turning mad*

dearest,u going off tmr right.take care of urself ba.will miss ya lots. XD behave urself k! XD XD muahaha.muak. :D

well...dats all i guess.

stay tuned~

weird dreams

weird dreams...why do i keep having dis kind of weird dreams? maybe it's just the medicine taking effect....

sick...again! when can i ever stop being sick.really dread dis.

i wana go plaza singapura.i wana buy the nightmare before christmas hp accessory..the one with jack in a coffin with flashing lights!! and i wana go there buy full metal alchemist's certified alchemist medal!! and the necklace!! and edward's cloak!! i want i want! ohmygosh ohmygosh...if i manage to buy those then i can go as edward in the next cosplay fest.muahaha.

going crazy over cosplay.tot of alot of styles to mix and match but no money to get them.argh.perhaps i'm just plain crazy..living in my own world all the time...

yeh and i'm just darn paranoid.

i keep thinking dat i'm gona turn into a hamster...it's so scary.wad the heck.i think i need a shrink.lolz.

mixed feelings...

sigh......


hahhaa...yay....


sigh...........


hahhaaa.....yay...


sigh..............

cock up!

aaaaaaaaaaarrgh....

tired tired tired

stress stress stress

frustrated frustrated frustrated


argh.ok the design orientation drools.bleah...

and everything just seems to messy and cock up lately....dono wads going on anymore..dono wads happening next....u can't expect me to go with the flow..i'm told to give my best shot everytime...but everything's just so messy! aaaaaaargh.

argh.

im just gona miss u so much.sigh.

camp

yo peeps~ wonder if anyone is still reading my blog..cuz haven't been updating on regular basis.lolz...

well...the freshman orientation camp was loads of fun~ met loads of ppl made loads of friends...was cool la.. fun filled and action packed....definitely rox.

tmr got orientation again...for design school ppl.lolz.a series of orientations can drive me mad.argh.actually i feel lyk skipping dis orientation la cuz feel abit sian...dono y..just feel lyk had enuff of being away from home already.dun lyk to b away from home much...dun lyk to slp out...prefer to slp at home..dono y la.lolz.dats me.ain't the stay over kind unless with reallly really really close friends...hahaa..then i'll just make myself at home.lolz.but dis kind of orientation camps..feel abit weird to b slping at foreign place with ppl whom i just got to noe la.lolz.aiya wadever.u all should noe wad i mean la.it is fun no doubt but i just dun feel homely...to sum it up it's homesickness la.

well...my days are so packed...orientations after orientations...after dat still have to go pos training...argh..sometimes i just feel lyk staying at home for a day and just chill.sometimes i need to get away from ppl for awhile to "recuperate"...sometimes in life we need a little bit of "policy of isolation"...if not will b so up to our necks with things to do we will go mad...lolz...dun get me wrong la.i'm not the "dao" kind..just dat sometimes i need to b alone to enjoy time by myself.i lyk to enjoy time by myself cuz i find peace.i need ppl ard me in my life but i also need time by myself.yeh.i sound paranoid yeh.argh.wadever am i talking abt...wadever la.

ok dats all for now...stay tuned~~ =D

peace out.

camp!

my jie fu is back from london le...hmm...haha..wore his medic shirt to cg ytd cuz no more clothes to wear....anyway..a brief intro abt him...heard from my sis he's a 3rd guard...and he's rather thin.lolz.which explains y i can fit nicely into his shirt.lolz.

k..guys,im going for orientation camp from 9-11.wun see me online for the next 3 days.miss u guys loads!

irritated

aiya.wad the hell.get a life la.tsk.stupid.

fantasies

i dream i dream and i wish i wish im not in spore now! lolz~

dance and dance and dancE

woho....yesterday's pos practice was fun~

we went down to city hall mrt station (at esplanade there)to practise our dance...we danced and danced for 4 hours plus.was really really tired by the time i got home.every muscle in my body crying out to my bed once i stepped into my home.and my stomache crying out for food cuz i only ate 7-11 mash potato for the whole four hours....mum went out to buy food again and dis time she remembered to buy mine =D =D lolz.~ i had a good workout dancing..but once i eat,my workout has gone to a waste.lolz.cuz i ate alot.was so so hungry..~

hmm...i shall laze at home today.....zZZZzzzZZZZzz... =D

to hui xin: hey welcome back! i miss u so much neh! XD

funny statement

today i woke up in the late afternon..was very hungry.no one was home so i figured out mum is out to buy food.

when mum came back...

Me: i'm so hungry!!

mum: i bought food back.but i didn't buy urs!

me:why?!?!?!

mum: cuz i forgot all about you!!

me: *sobz*

blessed

had a blssed cg today. =) i'm so on fire now and i wana grow even more.

alright....been busy with pos lately cuz almost everyday we have trainings.it's good dat im occupied.it drives the boredom away u see. =D

went to my aunty's place to visit her.i'm glad to see dat she's doing well.even though now she's even thinner than me,i'm glad she's still strong and can talk and laugh normally lyk she always does.i'm glad she's not weak and all dat.i believe in miracles and i believe one day she will b healed.

man.sometimes i really dun feel lyk going home.her nagging is driving me nuts lo.sigh.sometimes i feel dat i find more joy outside than at home.just wana run away and can't she just gime some peace? she's stress.but she must understand dat i oso have my own life.im not longer her 3 year old kid.i have responsibilities to take care of.she cannot expect me to b lyk a 3 year old anymore.she's just restricting me from growing up.sigh.nvm.let me have grace.

still deciiding on issues.God please guide me.

sigh.and sometimes i'd appreciate it if ppl will just stop condemning me.k.i have my own life.dun judge and dun interfere.different ppl lead different lives and have different personalities so just respect each other for hu we are.k.thanks.

well.

alot of ppl has been posting msges on the friendster bulletin saying friendster is closing.another hoax i guess.it's irritating.y would ppl wana post such stuff? if frendster is really expanding,then all the administrator have to do is just stop "recruiting" members lo.sigh.it doesnt make sense la.it only serves to spam the bulletin.if the administrator wana noe hu is frequently using friendster,all he has to do is check hu logs on often and hu doesnt.y bother to repost bulletins? it really doesn't make sense right.so,i choose not to believe.

anyway....i choose not to breakdown.it's not my kind to breakdown unless i really can't take it.i dun lyk to breakdown.i wana fight all the way until there is no more to fight.i noe He will give me strength and i will lean not on my own strength but His.

i wana lead a peaceful life.but i'm promised to have trials and tribulations and i must face them.it's inevitable.and i have to face it whether i lyk it or not.it's not a choice.but i can choose to either overcome or fail.and i choose to overcome.

i noe that wadever it is,im not alone cuz He's always ard to guide me.He is my shepherd,guiding me whenever i am lost.guiding me to the right path.and i shall trust in Him.

although i feel weary inside out,i choose not to submit to my feelings of hoplessness.i choose to emerge from all condemnating thoughts.cuz when there is love,there is hope,and when there is hope,there is life.

lala

hmm...had a fun day at pos training again.hehe.learned dance and new stunts today.so long nvr work out.now suddenly get active again...feels great.lolz.make me feel "young" to b so active.haha.dun beat me la.i noe im still young.but i noe u all noe wad i mean la.lolz.

hmm...currently deciding on some stuff...God please help..

longing

hmm...right now the most popular song going ard is most definitely Tong Hua.am i right? hehe.at first the song didnt have much of an impact on me la.i tot it was a nice song but nothing very special.dat is until i watched the mtv then the song start to have impact on me.started to bring back some bittersweet memories which i tot i had long gotten over and forgotten...didn't realise it is still alive in my mind till now.didnt realise dat subconciously i m still keeping it.


well..i guess,of all kinds of memories,bittersweet memories are the ultimite number one killer of our emotions.cuz..sad memories,everyone's willing to get over the sadness.happy memories,everyone's willing to keep it.angry memories,everyone's ready to forgive and forget.but bittersweet memories..it just gives ppl a yearning wish dat dey can go back and start everything again only to have no choice but to move on.

emotions kill the soul...


glad to noe dat u are doing well.thanks for keeping the memories and remembering me..

pos training

decomposed today at home..then in the evening went to sch for pos training. =) more and more ppl come for training le.so met alot of new friends today =) was fun.well,anything is better than having nothing to do right? hehee...i simply just can't wait for sch to start.lolz.looking forward to my exciting sch term.as i said,anything is better than having nothing to do.right now,my geatest fear is having nothing to do.it's the most torturing thing for me.i can't stand a life of idleness.i will die.im the sort hu always wana do something and keep myself busy whenever i can.it sounds sadistic,but i love being busy.lolz.i love to b occupied with many things to do.it gives me a sense of thrill and challenge.gives me excitement in my life u see.lolz.and gives me a great great great sense of accomplishment whenever i can finish my tasks.so i simply love to be kept busy.lolz.being busy oso trains me to b more organized and enable me to take stress and pressure.

hmm...anticipating for my brother in law to come back singapore.cuz me and my sis planned a double date together.lolz.ain't dat just so fun?!?! hehehe...double date with sis.it'll definitely be a heck load of fun. =D after brother in law come back,then in july we (my family) are all flying back to london with my brother in law.go visit london...bla bla bla.can't wait.lolz.

anyway...here's a hilarious stupid retarded pic of me trying to be funny at spotlight...






call me crazy ba.lolz~

lala

numbed inside out.

hair makeover!!

hehehehehhee~~~ had another hair makeover today at the salon!! wooo~~~ i did 6 hair extensions...blue and pink...went with my sis.actually my sole intention was only to have a hair cut.but my sis wana do hair extension and she kept persuading dat i try it out.so i tried.and it was real fun.lolz~ love it love it~


dis is wad it looks lyk from the side view...



dis is wad it looks lyk from the back view.



my sis! side view~ ain't it cool~


sister's back view~ hehe.



oooosh.feel so accomplished.next tym i wana add in more colours.lala~ =D

and yes..lastly......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MELVIN YE!!!!!

silly title

been procrastinating from my blogging.cuz didn't get the chance to use the com for many days.mum has to rush her work so have to let her use.

hmm...anger is such a fatal thing.it often controls us instead of us controlling it.very rarely do we find someone hu can actually take a deep breath and then dismiss his/her anger.ppl ard us all submit to their anger when it comes.anger is indeed fatal because,if lashed out without second tots,can lead to strained relationships and hurts.if a person is angry and he/she lashes out without thinking of other ppl's feelings,the person,having vented his/her anger,will feel alot better.but for the other party,they suffer.sometimes we only think of venting out our anger but we fail to realise that we have been venting our anger on other ppl and have thus hurt other ppl.many of us nvr realise dis point.is dis human nature or wad? if only there is no such thing as anger.i bet the world will b such a lovely place to live in.if only ppl can love each other in a greater measure,there'd b peace all ard.but too bad it isn't so.

we have expectations and thus,we are often greatly hurt when ppl we meet dun measure up to our expectations.dis will lead to great disappointments.however,isn't it great if we dun impose expectations on the ppl ard us and just love everyone for hu we are? isn't dat better? human beings are extremely complicated creatures.we think too profoundly and so there are alot of political stuff in our everyday lives.ppl contradict one another,or even themselves.life is such a complicated network of situations.often we are selfish but we do not realise.if we think carefully,i bet not one person will dare to admit dat he/she has not been selfish.

we as humans are prone to jealousy.when we feel dat we are being treated biasly against,we seeth with jealousy.y does dis happen? perhaps it's just simply becuz ppl nowadays are really bias and practise favouratism too much dat ppl nvr realise they are doing so! perhaps favouratism is so common in our everday lives,it has become so much a part of us,dat we dun see it as an issue to address anymore but something dat is basic! of cuz,we tend to b warm and friendly to ppl we lyk and to ppl hu reach our expectations.it is easy for us to neglect those ppl hu are not "our kind" of ppl.i guess dis is the reason y ppl are nvr happy anymore dis days.

everyone of us makes mistakes.nobody is perfect.in order to b happy,we just have to accept certain things we cannot change.dats the lesson we need to learn in life.

pain!

woo~ had a fun day today! =D =D =D

life's getting interesting now.lolz.lotsa happening stuff coming up.bye to boring old days!!! =D

it's only the basics and im aching all over?!?!?! my gosh.may God bless my muscles.muahaha!

to chris: welcome back welcome back welcome back welcome back welcome baaaaaaack!!!!

milo

i'm drinking milo straight out of the milo tin.yes i poured in water and added ice and sugar and i stirred and now im drinking it straight from the green tin.

dun ask me why im doing such a crazy thing.

i just wana do something to forget abt certain things.

dats all.

i love milo.








i really do.

no title

finished watching hellsing already.was a great anime but the minus point is dat,cuz it's abt vampires,thus the scenes all take place at nite.so it is rather dark and shadowy and sometimes it will leave me frustrated trying to make out wad the hell it is trying to show through the shadows.

not feeling well.sick.drowning in my mucus.bleah.i really hate it.my mood ain't very good.dun feel lyk going out.just wana b a hermit and stay at home to rest.sigh.nvm.i hate it hate it hate it.hate dis stupid feeling.hate dis emptiness.hate it!

dats all.

lala

let me start today's entry by going straight to the point.

well...several misunderstandings abt me.ppl think im going on a diet and they keep saying im getting thinner and thinner.hello.can u open ur eyes big big and look carefully b4 sprouting nonsense? firstly im not on a diet and secondly im not growing thinner cuz my weight is still the same as last year.izit ur psychological effect or wad? im sick and tired of ppl saying im thin.u think i lyk ppl to say im thin? im already eating alot.stop telling me to eat more ok.it's not lyk im not trying.sigh.so can everyone just stop torturing me by saying im getting thinner? sigh.

and dun always think i'm wasting my food can? it's not i wana waste my food.it's really i cannot finish ok.i try to finish my food always.but again i can't.please,my stomache has its limits alright.i repeat,im not wasting food ok.there is something called i am full.haiz.so stop thinking im the sort hu dun appreciate food and waste ok.im not dis kind of person lo.and according to some,i eat very little.hello,wad is eat very little? different ppl have different body built and thus they eat different amounts ok.so stop pushing me to eat more than wad i can manage alright.forcing food into the stomache puts a strain on the stomache and it's not good for the body.so u think by forcing more food down my throat can cause me to gain weight? let me tell u it is only doing me even more harm.so can please spare me some mercy and stop commenting on my (according to u all) small size? anyway for ur info im not small built lo.the doctor says im MEDIUM built.ok.open ur eyes big big and look carefully b4 saying im too thin im too small..bla bla bla~~~!!!

even worse.some ppl say i look lyk i have malnutrition.hello hello! have u even actually seen a REAL malnutritioned person? i think not man.

everytime when ppl comment abt me getting thinner,i just feel lyk an alien and i just feel lyk im abnormal lo.lyk im growing abnormally.cuz i do eat one k.everytime i say "huh? where got thinner?" im not trying to feign or deny anything lo.it's true dat i dun think im getting thinner lo.im not trying to b modest or wad lo.please.

it's not my fault if u all think im thin.im born lyk dat and dats wad i am!!

i've had enuff!! i hope dis msg get across clear to everyone!

adventurous again

had another adventurous day with xin again.lolz.y izit dat days with her are always so action packed?!?!?! muahaha...

we met to go for cg at ang mo kio...then when we reached amk,wana go Cheers but can't find it.instead we only saw a pathetic This Fashion shop which is having clearance sale.so we kpo kpo go in and see...oso nothing very nice...

after dat had cg..bla bla bla...then we went home together...went to amk mrt station with mel and edwin..then left me and hui xin...suddenly felt hungry so we went to eat the qiu lian ban mian at nearby.woohoo..wakhakha...and shared a weird tasting honey lemon drink...hmm~ after dat we waited so long for the dumb bus 22...when it finally came,we ask the bus uncle izit going to tampines and the bus uncle say is opposite side.argh.so we crossed and the bus came soon after...and then the bus uncle drove so violently.hello dis is not daytona lo.muahaha.

after dat reached tampines interchange.felt great to b at tampines! felt more close to home! *dis is home~~ truely`~ where i noe i must beee~* then we were saying dat we hope we dun meet anyone we noe.cuz we wear until so slack and then nvr put make up and then...we just look so unkempt.hu noes..straight after saying those words..along came francis.muahahahahha~ how accurate can dat be?!?!?! argh...

anyway...wooo!!! nowadays im super entertained with animes!!! muahaha..i wana extend my thanks to uncle david for his Hellsing vcd,ting feng for his full metal alchemist dvd,arts central for shaman king series,and jonathan for his samurai x.oh yeh and i oso wana thank jonathan for the cat returns vcd.oo lala~ muhahaha.

ok..so here are the pics of the day....

xin on mrt..on the wya to amk..look,mystery man behind!

me on the mrt on the way to amk...looking slack as usual on a saturday..as i am on al saturdays..muahaha...

and then we suddenly talked abt me looking lyk an elf..now do u agree?? muahaha...

right after cell...photo session again! oopz.is dat my phone i see at the foreground?? hiakhiak~ real cool car!

decided to have our dinner after alighting at amk mrt station.so we had dis!! QIU LIAN ban mian!! =D

and then we decided to get a little naughty..so we ordered ourselves a mug of....

honey lemon drink!! muahaa..look,we squashed the lemon to the bottom~

getting wacky...~

me too! muahaha..thirsty? lolz.

satisfaction!

dis pic was taken at the bus stop.ain't it cool? reminds me of His glory.muahaha~ *so here He comes~ ridiing on the clouds~ shining lyk the sun~ at the trumpet call~~*



dats all for today....but dats not all for now! dis are the pics of the past few days during my visits to band...


percussion section!!!

slackin eh? gotcha!

our dear ahmad and fadhil!

me and su!

me and the wackos..~

y m i smiling so insanely? lolz.



want somemore pics? here goes~ muahaha...

us getting wacky after service..





okok..i shall stop.there are still tonnes of pics coming in.stay tuned!

samara droolS~

firstly,i wana say dat samara drools ok.it's a COMPLETE,TOTAL waste of my $7.50.it ain't even scary!! i was laughing lyk really hard throughout the whole show!! perked me up though...could've died from hypertension from all dat laughing.i'm not exaggerating.u can ask my friends.we all just find it hilarious.samara's mother look just lyk a replica of michael jackson.alan practically shouted "michael jackson!!" in the cinema.lolz.and i dun get wads with all the reindeers.bah! waste of time and money! sabrina and madeline were so looking forward to the end of the show.it's extremely draggy and our butts hurt.grr.

aiya.i just dun recommend the show.it'll leave u feeling totally cheated.boo~

ok anyway i saw another converse shoe.i wana buy it! i wana wear different shoes out..i think it's real style.lolz.k.i'm gona buy it.lalala~~


i love the rain i love the rain~~~~ rain more everday! i'll b the happiest person on earth.lolz.~ i love water~~ so fun to play with! madness~

cosplay

lalala~ hu wana go cosplay with me when the next cosplay convention comes??? so sad i missed last year's cosplay fest at far east...aargh!

going out already.submit my forms to tp and then go out with my friends.write in again later~~ lalala~

medical check up

went for medical check up with xin just now at my mum's place.qutie adventurous i must say..medical check up is so much more interesting than x rays.first time doing urine test oso.lolz.im just so suaku.

indonesian earthquake...stronger and more powerful bird flu virus..terrorist bombing in thailand...more and more diseases are happening ard the world..more natural disasters are taking place..more cases of countries rising up against countries..indeed we are living in the end days.it is already written in black and white.

alright...finally got my enrolment documents done.so many things to do!! was kinda blur at first.lolz.tmr can go submit the forms already.phew~~ all done. =)

whua with my sis at home now,i think i will go crazy.lolz.she's really mad and ..and weird and crazy...and all the stuff dat u can find in the asylum...someone please save me before i turn into madness lyk her!!! u will noe wad i mean when u have interaction with my sis.but i suggest u better not take the risk.aaaaaah~

X-RAY

went x ray with xin just now.had quite a bit of adventure...haha..here goes..

she took cab to my place ard 11plus am..so i went down to get into the cab.was raining rather heavily..so wet and cold.then reached my mum's place...but she left already cuz something bad cropped up.so i asked her colleagues to help me settle the x ray forms for me and xin.after dat xin havent eat so we went to the coffeeshop nearby so xin can eat her lunch.then the stupid store uncle is very crappy...haha~

after dat went to the bus stop to hail a cab.was so drenched! then alot of ppl "snatched" our cab...if not then the cab didnt stop...BLEAH~finally managed to get a cab to tampines street 11...then couldn't even find the place...felt so puzzled plus both of us were rather drenched.so we asked one of the shop aunty where it is.turns out it is behind the rubbish chute..(-_-")..

then in the x ray clinic...everythign just happened to fast.it's lyk within ten minutes everything is done.haha...taking x ray is so eeky...=P

after dat went to tamp 201 to take our passport photos.we were all wet.so we borrowed the hairdryer from the photoshop aunty to blow dry our hair.muahaha...so hilarious! lucky no one we noe saw us.if not so pai seh! and xin told me dat the photo shop is zixiang's father own one.whua heng zixiang not there.lol.wait he mock then i will have no end to it.lolz.

so we took our photos.i think we look so cheesy.lolz.so ugly.then we went to tamp mall to walk walk.saw espirit clothes..so nice so nice!!! but so ex!! haiz.haha.then went to eat pastamania...so full~~ then hui xin went to watch spanglish with her starbucks kakis and i went home to attend to some family matters.

ppl please pray for my aunty.her condition is getting bad.i belive in healing.pls believe in it with me too k? my whole family is just so frantic and worried.i dun wana worry...cuz it wun do any good.however i can't help feeling lost too.everything is just so sudden.i dun wana think dat her death is inevitable.i wana believe dat she will receive her healing and she will be made well.by faith i proclaim dis and by faith i will get dis request.i just wana stay calm in dis situation.i dun wana break down.cuz it's no use.last tym i always used to break down and be weak.now i wana b strong and have faith,always thinking in the positive.i'm sick and tired of thinking dat the world is caving in on me.

there will b miracles.

was abt to log off.but suddenly dono y..had the instinct to go to their blogs.and i chanced upon these...


"fri n sat jan gt go band.. so happi to c her there.. feel lyk we beginning to go back to the past lyk tt liao.. miss her so much.. jan.. if u gt to read tis.. just wanna let u noe how apologetic i am for how we had made u felt in the past.. i'm sry.. we still treasure u very much.. knowing we wld b spending more time together i'm juz so happi.. coz there's juz so many breakfast tt we had nt eat 2gether.. so many shops in TM tt we've nt go to 2gether.. so many occassion tt i've nt sms u to send my regards.. so many craps tt i've yet to share wit u.. realli so glad to haf u wit us again.. lolx.. we muz spend more time 2gether k.. sista 4eva ~promise~"


"Janice, sorry for neglecting you in the past. We really treasure you. I remember those pasts, those memories we had."

wad can i say? i cried and cried and cried...i really miss u guys.all the stupid things we always do..and remember how last tym the whole level 4 new block corridor was our territory??? haha! and we always wave and shout across to each other lyk nobody's business.lyk heck..hu cares! haha.and remember everytime when we wana go kfc we will walk pass the stupid smelly rubbish chute? then we always "1..2..3!" and hold our breaths and walk pass the chute quickly? haha...and the countless times we protect each other from backstabbers in the...ahem shall not say.haha.and thanks guys for lyk..still keeping the secret of me and *ahem* for so long even though no more liao! haha..and the secrets we share abt our crush and all the silly silly stuff...

dun really noe wad happened...but i just left u all without even thinking..doing it on a quick impulse.guess i was just confused,sad and hurt.dono wad everyone's thinking of me..lyk wad have i done wrong and stuff lyk dat..so i tot i shouldn't b a "burden" by staying...perhaps i go all of u would feel better? i dono...silly me i guess...but dats wad i was thinking...not wanting to confront u all or ask any questions cuz i dun wana make things worse.just tot if i let it go quietly..and just leave quietly..things would b alright? i dono...i was just wrong.i can't help but keep on thinking how u guys have been.wad are u all doing right then and all dat.wondering if we can ever hang out again? trying so hard not to think but can't help thinking how u guys have been...

i'm really sorry for all the wrong stuffs i had done too...wana ask u guys to forgive me if i had offended u all in any way...

as for me...i no longer wana hold any grudge or sadness or hurts anymore.i just wan all of u back into my life once more.it's a simple wish...will u all able to grant me dis wish?


love u guys loads.let's not leave each other anymore ok? promise? *hugs*

riddles

Happy Birthday Mum!!

had our first N289 cg ytd.not very used to the "smallness" of the grp and the sudden space we have.haha.but nevertheless was a gd cg.everyonehad to b louder than usual.it was all worth it.guess it'll make us stronger over the time.move glory to glory.yeh.

going for x-ray with xin tmr.i hate x-rays.i just feel so "exposed".lolz.i had my first x-ray at the age of 5.dat tym i was so scared out of my life cuz i tot x-ray involves opening up my body so the doctor can see inside me.i remembered panicking lyk mad in the waiting room and when it got to my turn,i bawled lyk nobody's business.lolz.thinking back,it all sounds so embarassing.haha.

went to visit the band ytd and friday.glad to hear they are sounding great.miss my seniors and my juniors.miss the days when we go for syf and performance,the tears the sweat the excitement and the joy of the outcome.still rememeber during syf,in the tuning room before our turn,everyone's hearts were pratically leaping out of our chests.miss the days we perspire under the sun lyk mad during speech day,playing for the marching contingents,have to play in time to their marching if not their footsteps will go haywire,then have to carry the instruments to the hall for another round of performance.lolz.i still remember last tym we had to practice drill while carrying our instruments.poor shafi and his bass drum.haha.envy the flautists and their light flutes.hiakhiak.miss the last concert performance,where everyone was frantically shoving dinner into the mouth backstage at victoria concert hall.then after dat frantically go to the loo and put on make up for each other and make so much noise.wad else..watching the conductor with eagle eyes,not daring to tear our eyes away from him lest we go out of timing.remember that our finale pieces always brought excitement.haha...and the encores,and after dat the roses we receive.somemore the investitures we have,at first very happy dat we are promoted to a higher rank.after dat down the years,we'll b very proud dat our juniors get promoted,and we'll scream our i-love-yous and wad nots.haha.and every chinese new year we must play the SAME PIECE every year..can memorise by heart already.and we'll graon abt the boring chinese new year piece.then have to wear bright colours every year for chinese new year performance.haha.dread the days when we girls have to wear our high heels,thus we always have plasters ready for each other in case anyone has blisters.remember the band room has an iron,so anyone hu did not iron their band uniform on the day of performance can last minute bring to sch to iron in the store room.and the ironing board? we used an abandoned conductor stand.haha.last tym dread those days.thinking back,now it's all worth it considering i have earned my A1 and of cuz the fond memories.not saying all memories have been fond.some are really bad ones.lolz.

whua.look.it's one whole big chunk of band!!! hahaha...okok.i shall stop liao.dun wan u all to fall aslp.

anyway life is so fragile.one moment u can b enjoying ur life,getting rich and all dat,the next moment some bad thing struck u and dats it.we should all cherish wad we have and not take it for granted,thinking dat everyday will b as it is now..

alright.i wana say a big sorry to those whom i've offended in one way or another.if i have offended anyone at all.

i had a really beuatiful dream last nite.i dreamt of rainbows..many many many of them in the sky..and then i was very happy.and zx was with me.and i told her "look!! rainbows!" and we were very fascinated.thus we took lots of pics.the next moment we were in some sort of theatre.and we were walking on wad seemed lyk melted marshmallows,just dat they were cold.it was everywhere on the floor.abt knee-deep.above us were many many colourful shooting stars.it was all so beautiful...

it's not the first time i dream of shooting stars and rainbows and beautiful mother nature.i once dreamt of many colourful exploding magnificent stars in the sky.brilliant,breath-taking and simply wonderful.wish i could share it with u all.

hehe...i love having such dreams.it makes me wana slp and not wake up at all...